SOME TIPS FOR IMPROVING LEAVE LETTERS….

This is a collection of leave letters and applications written by people

in various places of India…

1. Infosys, Bangalore: An employee applied for leave as follows:

Since I have to go to my village to sell my land along with my

wife, please sanction me one-week leave.

2. This is from Oracle Bangalore: From an employee who was

performing the “mundan” ceremony of his 10 year old son:

“as I want to shave my son’s head, please leave me for two days..”

3. Another gem from CDAC. Leave-letter from an employee who was

performing his daughter’s wedding:

“as I am marrying my daughter, please grant a week’s leave..”

4. From H.A.L. Administration dept:

“As my mother-in-law has expired and I am only one responsible for

it, please grant me 10 days leave.”

5. Another employee applied for half day leave as follows:

“Since I’ve to go to the cremation ground at 10 o-clock and I may

not return, please grant me half day casual leave”

6. An incident of a leave letter

“I am suffering from fever, please declare one day holiday.”

7. A leave letter to the headmaster:

“As I am studying in this school I am suffering from headache. I request

you to leave me today”

8. Another leave letter written to the headmaster:

“As my headache is paining, please grant me leave for the day.”

9. Covering note:

“I am enclosed herewith…”

10. Another one:

“Dear Sir: with reference to the above, please refer to my below…”

11. Actual letter written for application of leave:

“My wife is suffering from sickness and as I am her only husband at home

I may be granted leave”.

12. Letter writing: –

“I am in well here and hope you are also in the same well.”

13. A candidate’s job application:

“This has reference to your advertisement calling for a ‘ Typist

and an Accountant – Male or Female’… As I am both(!! )for the

past several years and I can handle both with good experience, I am

applying for the post.

Amazing Answers!!!!!!!!

A first-grade teacher, Ms Neelam (Age 28) was having trouble with one of
her students

The teacher asked,”Boy. what is your problem?”

Boy. answered, “I’m too smart for the first-grade! .My sister is in
the third-grade and I’m smarter than she is! I think I should be in the
third-grade too!”

Ms Neelam had enough. She took Boy. to the principal’s office.
While Boy. waited in the outer office, the teacher explained to the
principal what the situation was. The principal told Ms Neelam he would
give the boy a test and if he failed to answer any of his questions he was
to go back to the first-grade and behave.She agreed.

Boy. was brought in and the conditions were explained to him and he agreed
to take the test.

Princi! pal: “What is 3 x 3?”

Boy.: “9”.

Principal: “What is 6 x 6?”

Boy.: “36”.

And so it went with every question the principal thought a third-grade
should know. The principal looks at Ms Neelam and tells her, “I think Boy.
can go to the third-grade.”

Ms Neelam says to the principal, “I have some of my own questions.

Can I ask him ?” The principal and Boy. both agree.

Ms Neelam asks, “What does a cow have four of that I have only two of?

Boy., after a moment “Legs.”

M! s Nee lam: “What is in your pants that you have but I do not have?”

Boy.: “Pockets.”

Ms Neelam: What starts with a C and ends with a T, is hairy,

oval, delicious and contains thin whitish liquid?

Boy.: Coconut

Ms Neelam: What goes in hard and pink then comes out soft And

sticky? The principal’s eyes open really wide and before he could

stop the answer, Boy. was taking charge.

Boy.: Bubblegum

Ms Neelam: What does a man do standing up, a woman does sitting

down and a dog does on three legs? The principal’s ey! es open

really wide and before he could stop the answer…

Boy.: Shake hands

Ms Neelam: Now I will ask some “Who am I” sort of questions, okay?

Boy.: Yep.

Ms Neelam: You stick your poles inside me. You tie me down to get me
up. I get wet before you do.

Boy.: Tent

Ms Neelam: A finger goes in me. You fiddle with me when you’re

bored. The best man always has me first.The Principal was

looking restless, a bit tense and took one large Patiala Vodka peg.

Boy.: Wedding Ring

Ms Neelam: I come in many sizes. When I’m not well, I drip. When you
blow me, you feel good.

Boy.: Nose

Ms Neelam: I have a stiff shaft. My tip penetrates. I come with a
quiver.

Boy.: Arrow

Ms Neelam: What word starts with a ‘F’ and ends in ‘K’ that means lot
of heat and excitement?

Boy.: Firetruck

Ms Neelam: What word starts with a ‘F’ and ends in ‘K’ & if u don’t get
it u have to use ur hand.

Boy.: Fork

Ms Neelam: What is it that all men have one of it’s longer on some men
than on others, the pope doesn’t use his and a man gives it to his wife
after they’re married?

Boy.: SURNAME

Ms Neelam: What part of the man has no bone but has muscles, has lots
of veins, like pumping, & is responsible for making love ?

Boy.: HEART.

The principal breathed a sigh of relief and said to the teacher,

“Send this Boy. to Delhi University, I got the last ten questions
wrong myself!”

Some Whacky Quotes

Put your hand on a hot stove for a minute, and it
seems like an hour. Sit with a pretty girl for an
hour, and it seems like a minute. THAT’S
relativity.

– Albert Einstein

 

 

The brain is a wonderful organ. It starts working
the moment you get up in the morning and does not
stop until you get into the office.

– Robert Frost

 

 

 

The trouble with being punctual is that nobody’s there to appreciate it.

– Franklin P. Jones

 

 

 

We must believe in luck. For how else can we explain
the success of those we don’t like?

– Jean Cocturan

 

 

 

It matters not whether you win or lose; what matters is whether I win or lose.

– Darrin Weinberg

 

 

 

Life is pleasant. Death is peaceful.
It’s the transition that’s troublesome.

 

 

Help a man when he is in trouble and he will
remember you when he is in trouble again.

 

 

Complex problems have simple, easy to understand wrong answers.

It is not exactly cheating, I prefer to consider it creative problem solving.

 

Whoever said money can’t buy happiness, didn’t know where to shop.

 

Alcohol doesn’t solve any problems, but then again, neither does milk.

 

 

Most people are only alive because it is illegal to shoot them.

 

 

Forgive your enemies but remember their names.

 

 

The number of people watching you is directly proportional to the stupidity of your action.

 

Don’t worry that the world ends today, it’s already tomorrow in Australia!

Luck…Awesome..

With a pile of 300 résumés on his desk and a need to pick someone quickly, my boss told me to make calls on the bottom 50 and toss the rest.

“Throw away 250 résumés?” I asked, shocked.

“What if the best candidates are in there?”

“You have a point,” he said. “But then again, I don’t need people with bad luck here.”

– Becky Horowitz(Reader’s digest)

Tech support calls …very funny

These “Very Silly tech support calls “ have been around in e-mails and online since the dawn of tech support.

They are always fun to read.  I’m in the mood for a good laugh.  How ’bout you?

**********

Customer: Hi, this is Celine. I can’t get my diskette out.
Tech support: Have you tried pushing the Button?

Customer: Yes, sure, it’s really stuck.
Tech support: That doesn’t sound good; I’ll make a note.

Customer: No, wait a minute… I hadn’t inserted it yet… it’s still on my desk… Sorry….

**********

Tech support: What kind of computer do you have?
Female customer: A white one…

Tech support: Click on the ‘my computer’ icon on to the left of the screen.
Customer:  Your left or my left?

**********

Tech support: Good day. How may I help you?
Male customer: Hello… I can’t print.

Tech support: Would you click on “start” for me and…
Customer: Listen pal; don’t start getting technical on me! I’m not Bill Gates.

**********

Customer: Hi, good afternoon, this is Martha, I can’t print. Every time I try, it says ‘Can’t find printer’. I’ve even lifted the printer and placed it in front of the monitor, but the computer still says he can’t find it…

**********

Customer: I have problems printing in red…
Tech support: Do you have a color printer?

Customer: Aaaah……. ……… ….thank you.

**********

Tech support: What’s on your monitor now, ma’am?
Customer: A teddy bear my boyfriend bought for me at the 7-11.

**********

Customer:  My keyboard is not working anymore.
Tech support: Are you sure it’s plugged into the computer?

Customer:  No. I can’t get behind the computer.
Tech support: Pick up your keyboard and walk 10 paces back

Customer:  OK

Tech support: Did the keyboard come with you?
Customer: Yes

Tech support:  That means the keyboard is not plugged in. Is there another keyboard?
Customer: Yes, there’s another one here. Ah…that one does work…

**********

Tech support: Your password is the small letter “a” as in apple, a capital letter V as in Victor, the number 7.
Customer: Is that 7 in capital letters?

**********

Customer: I can’t get on the Internet.
Tech support: Are you sure you used the right password?

Customer: Yes, I’m sure. I saw my colleague do it.
Tech support: Can you tell me what the password was?

Customer: Five stars.

**********

Tech support: What anti-virus program do you use?
Customer: Netscape.

Tech support: That’s not an anti-virus program.
Customer : Oh, sorry…Internet Explorer.

**********

Customer:  I have a huge problem. A friend has placed a screen saver on my computer, but every time I move the mouse, it disappears.

**********

Tech support: How may I help you?
Customer: I’m writing my first e-mail.

Tech support: OK, and what seems to be the problem?
Customer: Well, I have the letter ‘a’ in the address, but how do I get the circle around it?

**********

A woman customer called the Canon help desk with a problem with her printer.
Tech support: Are you running it under windows?

Customer: “No, my desk is next to the door, but that is a good point. The man sitting in the cubicle next to me is under a window, and his printer is working fine.”

**********

Office Trick : Invitation

Hi Friends,

It’s my immense pleasure to inform you that, my engagement has been
Fixed and it is after some days. Finally I have found someone who is
willing to tolerate my tantrums for the rest of our lives.

I know it’s a little sudden, but I guess it was the way it had to be!
Please show your esteemed presence and make our occasion a memorable
one. The invitation card and venue details are below with this post
(Do go through it and please consider this as a personal invitation
and grace the ceremony).

Request your gracious presence to the ceremony.

Abhishek Singh

Examinations special

Ø Special offer……..Bring a chit on exam day, scratch and show it to your nearest teacher and win free trip to Principal’s office and enjoy 3 years vacation at home.
Hurry offer valid until exams only….

Ø It takes 15 trees to produce the amount of paper that we use to write our exam once (excluding supplementary). Join us in promoting the noble cause of saving trees.
Say NO to EXAMS

Ø Student’s declaration at the end of answer paper. Reminds me of Disclaimer Notices!
“I hereby declare that answers written above r true 2d best of mine & my friend’s knowledge & I claim no responsibility whatsoever 4any mistakes. Whatever I have written is truly fictitious & any resemblance with the Subject Matter is purely Coincidental.”

Cricket World Cup 2007 Horoscopes & Luck & Prediction

• Australia Prediction

• Bangladesh Prediction

• Bermuda Prediction

• Canada Prediction

• England Prediction

• India Prediction

• Ireland Prediction

• Kenya Prediction

• Netherlands Prediction

• New Zealand Prediction

• Pakistan Prediction

• Scotland Prediction

• South Africa Prediction

• Sri Lanka Prediction

• Zimbabwe Prediction

• West Indies Prediction

March Horoscope 2007 Overview

Aquarius March Horoscope 2007 ( January 20 – February 18)

Pisces March Horoscope 2007 ( February 19 – March 20 )

ARIES March Horoscope 2007 ( March 21 – April 19 )

Taurus March Horoscope 2007 ( Aprial 20 – May 20 )

Gemini March Horoscope 2007 ( May 21 – June 20 )

Cancer March Horoscope 2007 ( June 21 – July 22 )

Leo March Horoscope 2007 ( July 23 – August 22 )

Virgo March Horoscope 2007 ( August 23 – September 22 )

Libra March Horoscope 2007 ( September 23 – October 22 )

Scorpio March Horoscope 2007 ( Octpober 23 – November 21)

Sagittarius March Horoscope 2007 ( November 22 – December 21 )

Capricorn March Horoscope 2007 ( December 22 – January 19 )

2 Karat Engagement Ring…!!!

You must see 2 karat Engagement Ring i taken for my Fiancee . Its beautiful….

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