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Information

The Nehru family tree……..shocking !!

Posted by @ B H i on May 26, 2007

nehru_gandhi.jpg

SEE MORE FUN & SELF SPEAKING PICTURE AT “PICTURES WHICH SPEAK

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Posted in Analysis, Friends-Fun, Indian, Information, Life, Politics | 101 Comments »

Shaddi (Marriage)

Posted by @ B H i on May 20, 2007

Dear Friends,
this is something for the Newly Wedded couples

abhi shaadi ka pehla hi saal tha,

khushi ke maare mera bura haal tha,

khushiyaan kuch yoon umad rahin thi,

ki sambhale nahi sambhal rahi thi,

subah subah madam ka chai le kar aana

thoda sharmate hue hume need se jagana,

wo pyaar bhara hath humare ballon main phirana,

muskurate hue kehna ki darling chai to pi lo,

jaldi se ready ho jao, aap ko office bhi hai jana.

gharwali bhagwan ka roop le kar aayi thi,

dil or dimag par poori tarah chai thi,

saans bhi lete thy to naam usi ka hota tha,

ik pal bhi door jeena dushwar hota tha.

5 saal baad……..

subah subah madam ka chai le kar aana,

table par rakh kar jor se chilana,

aaj office jao to munna ko

school chodte hue jana…………..

ek baar phir wohi awaaj ayi,

kya baat hai abhi tak chodi nahi charpai,

agar munna late ho gaya to dekh lena,

munna ki teachers ko phir khud hi sambhaal lena.

na jane gharwali kaisa roop le kar aayi thi,

dil aur dimaag par kali ghata chai thi,

sans bhi lete hai to uni ka khayal hota hai,

har samay jehan main ek hi sawal hota hai,

kya kabhi wo din lot ke ayenge,

hum ek bar phir kuwaaren ban payenge

Posted in Analysis, Enjoy Life, Funny, Humor, Information, Jokes, Life, Love, Marriage | 6 Comments »

A for apple…………

Posted by @ B H i on May 20, 2007

This is a very old one you might have already heard………

A for apple.
B for bada apple.
C for chhota apple.
D for dusra apple.
E for ek aur apple.
F for fokat ka apple.
G for gol apple.
> > H for ho gaya na pet kharab khake itne apple

Now check out the rest of the alphabets compiled by me just for you

I for isse kehete hai apple,
J for jaisa bhi ho, hai to apple,
K for koi bhi kha sakta hai apple,
L for lo khahi lo ek apple,
M for mujhe acha lagta hai apple,
N for na kabhi na kehena khane ko apple
O for oh! yeh apple —–
P for peth bhar khaao apple
Q for qismat mein nahi hoti hai sabke, yeh apple
R for roz agar khaao tum apple
S for sehetmand rahoge khaaogey agar tum apple
T for tumko nahi milengey itney achey apple
U for udhaar kii nahi hai yeh apple
V for very tasy hai yeh apple
W for waste na karo time aur khaalo jaldi se apple
X for xmas main bhi apple
Y for youn na chehra phero dekhkey apple
Z for zaraasa aur khaalo aaple aur…

CHALO AB KAAM PE LAGJAAO

Posted in Friends, Friends-Fun, Funny, Humor, Information, Jokes, Life, NIce Trick, Office | 4 Comments »

Facts

Posted by @ B H i on May 20, 2007

  • The queen of England does not have the right to vote in any British election.
  • The queen of England has two birthdays.
  • The Queen termite can live up to 50 years and have 30,000 children every day.
  • The raised reflective dots in the middle of highways are called Botts
  • The rapid rate of expansion of gas is what gives steam its power. One volume of water, at normal atmospheric pressure and at the boiling point, yields 1,670 volume of steam.
  • The reason firehouses have circular stairways is from the days of yore when the engines were pulled by horses. The horses were stabled on the ground floor and figured out how to walk up straight staircases.
  • The reason most mosquito bites itch is because mosquitoes inject saliva into the persons skin before they suck your blood. They take it out once they are done, but if they are forced to fly away, they don’t get a chance to draw the saliva out. And it is their saliva that causes the itch.
  • The reason why the very beginning of The Wizard of Oz is black and white, is because color was not available at that point. When color was available, the writers decided to start using it in Munchkinland.
  • The record for the biggest one day rainfall was set on Reunion Island in the Indian Ocean, on March 15, 1952, where 74 inches of rain fell in 24 hours.
  • The record for the most weddings is held by King Mogul of Siam, who had 9000 weddings and 9000 wives.
  • The red capes used to taunt bulls in bullfights is the same shade of red as the bull’s blood. That way you can’t tell it is covered with the bull’s blood by the end of the fight. Fight spectators like bullfighting, but not blood.`
  • The red kangaroo of Australia can jump 27 feet in one bound.
  • The red sea is not red.
  • The red spot on the 7up cans comes from it’s inventor. He was an albino (albinos have red eyes).
  • The regular garden variety caterpillar has 248 muscles in its head.
  • The Republic of Israel was established April 23, 1948.
  • The revolving door was invented August 7, 1888, by Theophilus Van Kannel, of Philadelphia, Pennsylvania.
  • The Ribbon worm will start eating itself to avoid starvation
  • The ridges on the sides of coins are called reeding or milling.
  • The right lung is slightly larger than the left
  • The right side of a boat was called the starboard side due to the fact that the astronavigators used to stand out on the plank (which was on the right side) to get an unobstructed view of the stars. The left side was called the port side because that was the side that you put in on at the port.
  • The river Danube empties into the Black Sea.
  • The rose family of plants, in addition to flowers, gives us apples, pears, plums, cherries, almonds, peaches and apricots.
  • The rosy periwinkle plant, found in Madagascar, is used to cure leukemia.
  • The rumble that is created when a Harley’s engine runs has been patented by the company
  • The Russian Imperial Necklace has been loaned out by Joseff jewelers of Hollywood for 1,215 different feature films.
  • The S in Harry S Truman stands for nothing.
  • The safety pin was patented in 1849 by Walter Hunt. He sold the patent rights for $400.
  • The Sahara Desert expands at a rate of about 1 km each month.
  • The Sahara desert is larger as Europe and large then the combined areas of next largest 9 deserts.
  • The Sahara Desert is over twice as big as the second largest desert in the world, The Australian Desert. The Sahara is 3.5 million square miles compared to the 1.47 million square miles of the Australian. This is “true” in the generic sense of the Autralian Desert. There is no Australian Desert. It is divided into many different deserts. What would be true would be to say the Sahara is bigger than the desert space in Australia (which is A LOT not sure how much as a percentage of the total land mass of australia).
  • The sailfish can swim faster than a horse can gallop.
  • The saluki is the oldest known breed of domesticated dog. Carvings of animals resembling the saluki have been found in excavations of the Sumerian Empire. They are believed to have originated from between 6,000 and 7,000 B.C.
  • The salute of uniform bodies (eg. army, police) originated from knights who lifted their visors to show their face to a royalty.
  • The same material that is used to make bulletproof glass is also used in Tupperware’s Rock ‘n Serve containers. The container, however, is not entirely bulletproof. Due to the lifetime warrantee on Tupperware products, the company will replace it for FREE! (Just in case you’re in quick need of a shield and a Rock ‘n Serve is the only thing handy)
  • The San Diego Zoo in California has the largest collection of animals in the world.
  • The sandwich is named for the Fourth Earl of Sandwich (1718-92), for whom sandwiches were made so that he could stay at the gambling table without interruptions for meals.
  • The Santa Maria was the only one of Columbus’s ships not to return to Spain. It hit a reef on December 5, 1492 and sank.
  • The saying ‘once in a blue moon ‘ refers to the occurrence of two full moons during one calendar month. The last two occurred in January & March 1999. The next one isn’t until the end of 2001.
  • The science-fiction series “Lost in Space” (set in the year 1997) premiered on CBS in 1965.
  • The sea contains about 1/2 of the world’s known animal groups
  • The Sea of tranquility is found on the moon.
  • The SEALs have been deployed in Vietnam, Laos, Panama, Bosnia, Haiti, Somalia, and Colombia.
  • The search engine “Lycos” is named for Lycosidae, the Latin name for the wolf spider family. Unlike other spiders that sit passively in their web, wolf spiders are hunters, actively stalking their prey.
  • The secretary-bird swallow hen’s egg whole without breaking its shell.
  • The sentence “The quick brown fox jumps over a lazy dog.” uses every letter of the alphabet!

Posted in Analysis, Information, Office, Quiz, Self Awareness | Leave a Comment »

What is love…

Posted by @ B H i on April 14, 2007

A student asks a teacher, “What is love?”
The teacher said, “in order to answer your question, go to the wheat
field and choose the biggest wheat and come back.
But the rule is: you can go through them only once and cannot turn back
to pick.”
The student went to the field, go thru first row, he saw one big wheat,
but he wonders….may be there is a bigger one later.
Then he saw another bigger one… but may be there is an even bigger
one waiting for him.
Later, when he finished more than half of the wheat field, he starts to
realise that the wheat is not as big as the previous one he saw, he
knew he has missed the biggest one, and he regretted.
So, he ended up went back to the teacher with empty hand. The teacher
told him, “…this is love… you keep looking for better ones, but
when later you realise, you have already missed the person.

Posted in Analysis, Information, Love, NIce Trick, School-College, Self Awareness | 7 Comments »

Funny Abbrevation

Posted by @ B H i on April 14, 2007

JEE – Jehadic Entrance Examination

IIT – Islamic Institute of Terrorism

IIM – Institute of Infiltration Management

CAT – Career in Alqaida & Taliban

IAS – Iraq after Saddam

M Tech – Masters in Terror Technology

GATE – General Aptitude in Terror and Extremism

TOEFL – Test of Extremist Foreign Languages

GRE – Graduate in Relocation Extremism

MBBS – Master of Bomb Blasting Strategies

MBA – Master of Bombing Administration

Posted in Analysis, Enjoy Life, Friends, Friends-Fun, Funny, Humor, Indian, Information, Jokes, Life, NIce Trick | 7 Comments »

This is How INDIAN farmers are…….Very Clever… :)

Posted by @ B H i on April 14, 2007

A big city lawyer went duck hunting in rural area. He shot and dropped a bird, but it fell into a farmer’s field on the other side of a fence.
As the lawyer climbed over the fence, an elderly farmer drove up on his tractor and asked the lawyer what he was doing.
The lawyer responded, “I shot a duck and it fell into this field, and now I’m going to retrieve it.”
The old farmer replied. “This is my property, and your not coming over here.”
The indignant lawyer replied. “I’m one of the best trial lawyers in the city, and if you don’t let me get that duck, I’ll sue you and take everything that you own.
The old farmer smiled and said, “Apparently, you don’t know how we do things in Villages. We settle small disagreements like this, with the Three Kick Rule.”
The lawyer asked, “What is the Three Kick Rule?”
The farmer replied, “Well, first I kick you three times and then you kick me three times, and so on, back and forth until someone gives up.”
The Lawyer agreed to abide by the local custom.
The old farmer slowly gets down from the tractor and walked up to the Lawyer. His first kick planted the toe of his heavy work boot into the lawyer’s groin, which dropped him to his knees.
His second kick nearly ripped the nose off his face.
The lawyer was flat on his belly, when the farmer’s third kick to a kidney nearly causing him to give up, but didn’t.
The lawyer summoned every bit of his will and managed to get to his feet and said, “Okay, you old tossed, now it’s my turn.”
The old farmer smiled and said,
“Now, I give up, You can keep the duck!”

Posted in Friends, Friends-Fun, Funny, Humor, Indian, Information, Jokes | Leave a Comment »

“MUST READ” May I know the time please?!

Posted by @ B H i on April 14, 2007

May I know the time please?!

Young Man: Sir, may I know the time, please?

Old Man: Certainly not.

Young Man: Sir, but why? What are you going to loose,
if you tell me the time?

Old Man: Yes, I may loose something if I tell you the
time.

Young Man: But Sir, can you tell me how?

Old Man : See, if I tell you the time you will
definitely thank me and may be tomorrow again you will
ask me the time.

Young Man:
Quite possible.

Old Man: May be we meet two three times more and you
will ask my name and address.

Young Man: Quite possible.

Old Man: One day you may come to my house saying you
were just passing by and came into wish me.
Then as a courtsey, I will offer you a cup of tea.
After my courteous approach you will try to come
again.
This time you will appreciate tea and ask who has made
it.?

Young Man: Possible

Old Man: made itThen I will tell you that my daughter
has and I will then
have to introduce my young and
pretty daughter to you &; you will admire my daughter.

Young Man: Smiles. 😉

Old Man: Now onwards you will try to meet my daughter

again and again. You will offer her to go out for a
movie together and a date with you.

Young Man: Smiles

Old Man: My daughter may start liking you and start

waiting for you. After meeting regularly you will fall
in love with her and propose her for marriage.

Young Man: Smiles

Old Man: One day both of you will come to me and
tell
me about your love and ask for my permission.

Young Man: Oh Yes! and smiles

Old Man: (Angrily) Young man, I will never marry my
Daughter to a person like you who does not even own a
Watch

Posted in Analysis, Friends, Friends-Fun, Funny, Girls, Humor, Indian, Information, Jokes, Love, Marriage, NIce Trick, Office | 2 Comments »

Chaman Bhai..

Posted by @ B H i on April 14, 2007

Ek area mein Bhai rehta hai, Chaman Bhai..

Ab uskey area mein jo bhi koi lafda hota hai to police se pehle Chaman Bhai ki adalat mein jaata hai….

Ek baar Chaman Bhai ke area mein rape ho jata hai, aur jisney game bajayi hoti hai ukso pakad ke Chaman Bhai ke paas leke jatey hain…

Chaman Bhai pehley to bahut shanti se, style mein, us sey baat karta hai… kuch is tarah se…

Chaman : Kya re ? Tere ko maloom nahi yeh apun ka area hai?

Mujrim : Haan maloom hai na bhai.

Chaman : Phir kaisey himmat ki rape karne ki apun ke area mein?

Mujrim : Ab kya boloon bhai, kismat kharab thi.

Chaman : Chal mere ko sub kuch sach sach bata kya aur kaisey hua?

Mujrim : Abhi kya na… Idhar naake pe apun paan khaney ke liye aaya…

Chaman : Phir ?

Murjim : Apun khade hokey paan kharela tha… aur utney mein samney wali building pe apun ki nazar gayi…

Chaman : Aage bol

Mujrim : Udhar teesrey maaley pe ek chikni khadi hui thi

Chaman : Phir kya hua ?

Mujrim : Apun ko aisa laga ke usney ishaara kiya aaney ke liye..

Chaman : Phir tuney kya kiya ?

Mujrim : Apun socha ke kuch kaam hoyenga usko…. to apun builidng ke neeche gaya

Chaman : Phir ?

Mujrim : Usney Isharey se apun ko upar bulaaya… apun seedi chadte yehich sochrela tha “Chaman Bhai ka area hai….. Lafda nahi karne ka”

Chaman : Chal fatafat aagey bol

Mujrim : Apun ne usko jaakey bola…. kya kaam hai.. kaiko ishara kiya apun ko?

Chaman : Phir ?

Mujrim : Phir kya bhai, apun ko usney ghar ke andar kheech liya

Chaman : (Excited) Phir ?

Mujrim : Apun ghar me to chala gaya lekin soch raha tha ki “Chaman Bhai ka area hai….. Lafda nahi karne ka”

Chaman : Aagey bol

Mujrim : Usney apun ka haath pakad liya

Chaman : Accha… Phir?

Mujrim : Sachchi bolta hai bhai haath pakadtey hi apun phir socha “Chaman Bhai ka area hai….. Lafda nahi karne ka”

Chaman : Phir kya hua ?

Mujrim : Phir kya tha… Usney bola chikney meri pyaas bujha de

Chaman : Phir tu kya bola (Getting Excited) ?

Mujrim : Apun kya bolta, usne a! pna duppata neechey gira diya

Chaman : To phir kya hua ?

Mujrim : Apun ke dimag ki dahi ho gaya, kya mommey (boobs) they saali ke…lekin bhai phir bhi apun socha “Chaman Bhai ka area hai….. Lafda nahi karne ka”

Chaman : Phir tuney kya kiya ?

Mujrim : Apun bola ek-do kiss karega aur chala jayega….. zyada boli to body kaam karenga lekin engine nahi kholney ka…. Aakhir, “Chaman Bhai ka area hai….. Lafda nahi karne ka”

Chaman : Toh phir ?

Mujrim : Usney apun ko kheech liya…. sacchi bolta hai bhai aisi katil jawaani apun akkhi life me nahi dekha.

Chaman : Haan, woh to hai…. Tu aage bol (Starts to heat up)

Mujrim : Phir kya tha…. apun ne kiss kiya, mommey (boobs) bhi dabaya…. lekin imaan se bolta hai, soch raha tha “Chaman Bhai ka area hai….. Lafda nahi karne ka”

Chaman : Aagey bol ?

Mujrim : Phir usney apni kameez utar di

Chaman : Phir ?

Mujrim : Phir salwar, lekin apun ke dil me ekich khayal aa raha tha “Chaman Bhai ka area hai….. Lafda nahi karne ka”

Chaman : Aagey aagey ?

Mujrim : phir blouse aur chaddi saali ne sab utar di

Chaman : sahi mein?

Mujrim : phir meri pant keech li

Chaman : Accha ?

Mujrim : meri underwear mein haath dal diya

Chaman : oh !!

Mujrim : chaddi utar di meri, lekin apun phir bhi socha “Chaman Bhai k! a area hai….. Lafda nahi karne ka”

Chaman : (Getting frustrated)..

Mujrim : Phir woh haath phiraaney lagi

Chaman : (Half Boiling)

Mujrim : phir mooh ghumaaney lagi….. phir bhi apun yehi soch raha tha “Chaman Bhai ka area hai….. Lafda nahi karne ka”

Chaman: (About to blast) Aagey… aagey bol saley….

Mujrim: Chumney Chatney lagi bhaaaaiiii…..lekin bhai kasam se……main yehi soch raha tha “Chaman Bhai ka area hai….. Lafda nahi karne ka”

Chaman: Abey teri to…. Chaman Bhai Gaya Maa Chudaney….. tu aage bol !

Mujrim : Yehich…… yehich – apun ne bhi yehi socha bhai…..aur game baja dala.!!!

Posted in Adult, Awesome, Doublespeak, Friends, Friends-Fun, Funny, Girls, Humor, Indian, Information, Jokes, NIce Trick | 18 Comments »

Unwritten Rules

Posted by @ B H i on March 24, 2007

Some Rules that NEWTON forgot to mention

Law of queue: If you change queues, the one you have left will start
to move faster than the one you are in now.

Law of the Telephone: When you dial a wrong number, you never get an
engaged tone.

Law of Mechanical Repair: After your hands become coated with grease,
your nose will begin to itch.

Law of the Workshop: Any tool, when dropped, will roll to the least
accessible corner.

Law of the Alibi: If you tell the boss you were late for work because
you had a flat tire, the next morning you will have a flat tire.

Bath THEOREM: When the body is immersed in water, the telephone rings.

LAW OF ENCOUNTERS: The probability of meeting someone you know
increases when you are with someone you don’t want to be seen with.

LAW of the RESULT: When you try to prove to someone that a machine
won’t work, it will!

LAW OF BIOMECHANICS: The severity of the itch is inversely
proportional to the reach.

THEATRE RULE: People with the seats at the furthest from the aisle
arrive last.

LAW OF COFFEE: As soon as you sit down for a cup of hot coffee, your
boss will ask you to do something which will last until the coffee is
cold.

Posted in Analysis, Funny, Humor, Information, Jokes, Life | Leave a Comment »