Jokes

Laughter All The Way….

Archive for May, 2007

The Nehru family tree……..shocking !!

Posted by @ B H i on May 26, 2007

nehru_gandhi.jpg

SEE MORE FUN & SELF SPEAKING PICTURE AT “PICTURES WHICH SPEAK

Posted in Analysis, Friends-Fun, Indian, Information, Life, Politics | 101 Comments »

Prescription

Posted by @ B H i on May 26, 2007

Calm and respectable lady went into the pharmacy, walked right up to the pharmacist, looked straight into his eyes, and said, “I would like to  buy some cyanide.”

The pharmacist asked, “Why in the world do you need cyanide?”

The lady replied, “I need it to poison my husband.”

The pharmacist’s eyes got big and he exclaimed, “Lord have mercy! I can’t give you cyanide to kill your husband! That’s against the law! I’ll lose my license! They’ll throw both of us in jail! All kinds of bad things will happen. Absolutely not! You CANNOT have any cyanide!”

The lady reached into her purse and pulled out a picture of her husband in bed with the pharmacist’s wife.

The pharmacist looked at the picture and replied, “Well now, that’s different. You didn’t tell me you had a prescription.”

Posted in Funny, Girls, Humor, Jokes, Marriage | 3 Comments »

Money is really hard to earn……..

Posted by @ B H i on May 20, 2007

Posted in Enjoy Life, Friends, Friends-Fun, Funny, Humor, Jokes, Life, NIce Trick, Office | 1 Comment »

Good Morning…..

Posted by @ B H i on May 20, 2007

Friendship is like the relation between hands and eyes.
When the hand gets hurt, the eye cries, and when the eye cries the hand wipes its tears.
Be careful when you do something…
U never know when it hurts someone with a broken heart…
Everyone hears what you say…
Friends listen to what you say….
But Best friends listen to what you don’t say ..

Posted in Enjoy Life, Friends, Friends-Fun, Funny, Humor, Indian, Life | 5 Comments »

Shaddi (Marriage)

Posted by @ B H i on May 20, 2007

Dear Friends,
this is something for the Newly Wedded couples

abhi shaadi ka pehla hi saal tha,

khushi ke maare mera bura haal tha,

khushiyaan kuch yoon umad rahin thi,

ki sambhale nahi sambhal rahi thi,

subah subah madam ka chai le kar aana

thoda sharmate hue hume need se jagana,

wo pyaar bhara hath humare ballon main phirana,

muskurate hue kehna ki darling chai to pi lo,

jaldi se ready ho jao, aap ko office bhi hai jana.

gharwali bhagwan ka roop le kar aayi thi,

dil or dimag par poori tarah chai thi,

saans bhi lete thy to naam usi ka hota tha,

ik pal bhi door jeena dushwar hota tha.

5 saal baad……..

subah subah madam ka chai le kar aana,

table par rakh kar jor se chilana,

aaj office jao to munna ko

school chodte hue jana…………..

ek baar phir wohi awaaj ayi,

kya baat hai abhi tak chodi nahi charpai,

agar munna late ho gaya to dekh lena,

munna ki teachers ko phir khud hi sambhaal lena.

na jane gharwali kaisa roop le kar aayi thi,

dil aur dimaag par kali ghata chai thi,

sans bhi lete hai to uni ka khayal hota hai,

har samay jehan main ek hi sawal hota hai,

kya kabhi wo din lot ke ayenge,

hum ek bar phir kuwaaren ban payenge

Posted in Analysis, Enjoy Life, Funny, Humor, Information, Jokes, Life, Love, Marriage | 6 Comments »

A for apple…………

Posted by @ B H i on May 20, 2007

This is a very old one you might have already heard………

A for apple.
B for bada apple.
C for chhota apple.
D for dusra apple.
E for ek aur apple.
F for fokat ka apple.
G for gol apple.
> > H for ho gaya na pet kharab khake itne apple

Now check out the rest of the alphabets compiled by me just for you

I for isse kehete hai apple,
J for jaisa bhi ho, hai to apple,
K for koi bhi kha sakta hai apple,
L for lo khahi lo ek apple,
M for mujhe acha lagta hai apple,
N for na kabhi na kehena khane ko apple
O for oh! yeh apple —–
P for peth bhar khaao apple
Q for qismat mein nahi hoti hai sabke, yeh apple
R for roz agar khaao tum apple
S for sehetmand rahoge khaaogey agar tum apple
T for tumko nahi milengey itney achey apple
U for udhaar kii nahi hai yeh apple
V for very tasy hai yeh apple
W for waste na karo time aur khaalo jaldi se apple
X for xmas main bhi apple
Y for youn na chehra phero dekhkey apple
Z for zaraasa aur khaalo aaple aur…

CHALO AB KAAM PE LAGJAAO

Posted in Friends, Friends-Fun, Funny, Humor, Information, Jokes, Life, NIce Trick, Office | 4 Comments »

Peru hai kya…?

Posted by @ B H i on May 20, 2007

A parrot goes to a shopkeeper and asks …’Peru hai kya?’
The shopkeeper says … ‘Nahi. Hum Peru nahi bechate.’

Next day at the same time, the parrot goes again and asks him
..’Peru hai kya ?’
He gets a little irritated and says… ‘Aare Bola na,Hum Peru nahi
Bechate’

On the third day, the parrot goes again and asks him ‘peru hai kya ?’
He gets wild and yells ….’Bola na naahi karake. Abhi vapas aaya to
hathoda marunga sar ke upar’

The next day,the parrot comes again and asks him ..’hathoda hai kya
?’
The shopkeeper says … ‘Nahi’
The parrot then asks … ‘Peru hai kya ?

Posted in Funny, Humor, Jokes, NIce Trick, Pets/Animals | 3 Comments »

Madrasi Jokes

Posted by @ B H i on May 20, 2007

What are the degrees of egoism in Tamil Nadu?
I, Iyer, Iyengar.

What’s the opposite of Gopalakrishnan?
Comepalakrishnan.

How do they start a road race in Tamil Nadu?
Ready….Steady…..PO

What do you call a really colourful Tamilian?
Rangamannar Rangarajan.

How does a Tamilian introduce the tennis superstar Lendl?
Ivan Lendl (Ivan = ‘he’ in Tamil).

What did the Tamilian call the tall building a Japanese built?
Nikumo Nikado (Will it or won’t it stand?)

A lady arrived at the Madras airport after spending 36 hours in transit. She was fully exhausted after such a long trip with her 6 young kids. Collecting many suitcases, the family entered the cramped customs area.

A young customs official watched our entourage in disbelief, “Ma’am,” he said, “do all these children and this luggage belong to you?”

“Yes, sir,” the lady said with a sigh. “They’re all mine.”

The customs agent began his interrogation “Ma’am, do you have any weapons, contraband or illegal drugs in your possession?”

“Sir,” she calmly answered, “if I’d had any of those items, I would have used them by now.”

James Bond comes out of British Airways at Chennai, goes to his waiting driver and says “I’m Bond, James Bond. James to you”.

For which the driver replies “I’m Subramaniam, Bala Subramaniam. Balls to you…”

What is the opposite of Subramnium Swamy?
Subramanium Didn’t See Me

Posted in Funny, Humor, Indian, Jokes | 27 Comments »

Sindhi Jokes

Posted by @ B H i on May 20, 2007

A Sindhi lawyer?:
Case-wani

A Sindhi lawyer after a case?:
Purse-wani

A blue-skier Sindhi?:
Akash-wani

What is a communist Sindhi called?
Lalwani.

What is a Sindhi who falls from the first floor called?
Thadani.

What is a Sindhi who falls from the 17th. floor called?
Kriplani.

What is a Sindhi who falls from the 30th. floor called?
Marjani.

What is the most noteworthy contribution of the Sindhis’ to Hindustani Music?
Raga Kirvani.

A god fearing Sindhi?
Bhagwandas Godwani

A Sindhi painter?
Sadarangani

A Sindhi chef?
Papadmull Kukreja

A Sindhi electrician?
Voltram Bijlani

A fashionable Sindhi?
Jogio Armani

A Sindhi milkman?
Gopal Dudeja

A heroic Sindhi soldier?
Hiroo Sipahimalani

A Sindhi pest control contractor?
Khatmull Marwani

A Sindhi stripper working in New York?
Barbra Jhangiani

A Sindhi casanova?
Prem Kissinchandani

A Sindhi fire-engine?
Bhambhani

A Sindhi detergent?
Neelam Rindani

A Sindhi postman?
Mailwani

A forgetful Sindhi?
Bulo Bhulchandani

A fashionable Sindhi?
Primlani

A fat Sindhi?
Hathiramani

Posted in Funny, Humor, Indian, Jokes | 2 Comments »

Gujrat Jokes

Posted by @ B H i on May 20, 2007

Q :- Why did the Gujju think the film Gandhi was about a woman?
A :- Because Be(h)n Kingsley was in it.

Q :- Why won’t the gujju jeweller sell anything to the UP ka bhayiya?
A :- The bhayiya kept giving gujju a bunch of hair each time the gujju asked for ‘Kesh’

Q :- What did the Gujju mean when he said, “Ramesh no dikro States ma gayon” ?
A :- Ramesh’s son failed in statistics…

Q) Why did Bill Clinton have the gujju beaten?
A) The gujju told Clinton “You are an IMPOTENT man”

Q) What will a Gujju tell a tomato, coming last in a tomato race?
A) Tomato KETCHUP.

Q) Why did the gujju go to Rome?
A) He wanted to listen to POPE music.

Q) Why did the gujju go to London?
A) To see BIG BEHN.

Q) Why was the gujju stacking up 1 cent coins on the day before exams?
A) He wanted to get “cent-per-cent” .

Q) What did the Gujju have in the morning?
A) LIGHT SNAKES for breakfast.

Q) What did the Gujju say to the singing prostitute?
A) You are going from BED To VERSE.

Q) Did you know that Gujarati students are going to start a fraternity?
A) They named it Rho Beta Rho.

Q) Why did the gujjus take 50 paise when they went to watch “GANDHI”?
A) They read Atten( 8 annas)-bourough in the credits.

Q) What is a Gujju picnic koled?
A) A snake in the grass

Q) Why did the Gujju wear a Tuxedo to his vasectomy?
A) If he was going to become impotent, he wanted to look impotent.

Q) Why did the American get scared of the Gujju?
A) Because he said ‘Sue kare chhe.’

Q) Maro dikro Dubai gayo?
A) My son drowned.

Posted in Funny, Humor, Indian, Jokes | 4 Comments »