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Archive for the ‘Marriage’ Category

Prescription

Posted by @ B H i on May 26, 2007

Calm and respectable lady went into the pharmacy, walked right up to the pharmacist, looked straight into his eyes, and said, “I would like to  buy some cyanide.”

The pharmacist asked, “Why in the world do you need cyanide?”

The lady replied, “I need it to poison my husband.”

The pharmacist’s eyes got big and he exclaimed, “Lord have mercy! I can’t give you cyanide to kill your husband! That’s against the law! I’ll lose my license! They’ll throw both of us in jail! All kinds of bad things will happen. Absolutely not! You CANNOT have any cyanide!”

The lady reached into her purse and pulled out a picture of her husband in bed with the pharmacist’s wife.

The pharmacist looked at the picture and replied, “Well now, that’s different. You didn’t tell me you had a prescription.”

Posted in Funny, Girls, Humor, Jokes, Marriage | 3 Comments »

Shaddi (Marriage)

Posted by @ B H i on May 20, 2007

Dear Friends,
this is something for the Newly Wedded couples

abhi shaadi ka pehla hi saal tha,

khushi ke maare mera bura haal tha,

khushiyaan kuch yoon umad rahin thi,

ki sambhale nahi sambhal rahi thi,

subah subah madam ka chai le kar aana

thoda sharmate hue hume need se jagana,

wo pyaar bhara hath humare ballon main phirana,

muskurate hue kehna ki darling chai to pi lo,

jaldi se ready ho jao, aap ko office bhi hai jana.

gharwali bhagwan ka roop le kar aayi thi,

dil or dimag par poori tarah chai thi,

saans bhi lete thy to naam usi ka hota tha,

ik pal bhi door jeena dushwar hota tha.

5 saal baad……..

subah subah madam ka chai le kar aana,

table par rakh kar jor se chilana,

aaj office jao to munna ko

school chodte hue jana…………..

ek baar phir wohi awaaj ayi,

kya baat hai abhi tak chodi nahi charpai,

agar munna late ho gaya to dekh lena,

munna ki teachers ko phir khud hi sambhaal lena.

na jane gharwali kaisa roop le kar aayi thi,

dil aur dimaag par kali ghata chai thi,

sans bhi lete hai to uni ka khayal hota hai,

har samay jehan main ek hi sawal hota hai,

kya kabhi wo din lot ke ayenge,

hum ek bar phir kuwaaren ban payenge

Posted in Analysis, Enjoy Life, Funny, Humor, Information, Jokes, Life, Love, Marriage | 6 Comments »

Abhishek and Aishwarya in Balaji Tirumala

Posted by @ B H i on April 24, 2007

Abhishek Bachan and Aishwarya Rai Bachan in Balaji Tirumala for Balaji Blessing

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Read the rest of this entry »

Posted in Bollywood, Celebs, Current Issues, Girls, Indian, Love, Marriage | 22 Comments »

“MUST READ” May I know the time please?!

Posted by @ B H i on April 14, 2007

May I know the time please?!

Young Man: Sir, may I know the time, please?

Old Man: Certainly not.

Young Man: Sir, but why? What are you going to loose,
if you tell me the time?

Old Man: Yes, I may loose something if I tell you the
time.

Young Man: But Sir, can you tell me how?

Old Man : See, if I tell you the time you will
definitely thank me and may be tomorrow again you will
ask me the time.

Young Man:
Quite possible.

Old Man: May be we meet two three times more and you
will ask my name and address.

Young Man: Quite possible.

Old Man: One day you may come to my house saying you
were just passing by and came into wish me.
Then as a courtsey, I will offer you a cup of tea.
After my courteous approach you will try to come
again.
This time you will appreciate tea and ask who has made
it.?

Young Man: Possible

Old Man: made itThen I will tell you that my daughter
has and I will then
have to introduce my young and
pretty daughter to you &; you will admire my daughter.

Young Man: Smiles. 😉

Old Man: Now onwards you will try to meet my daughter

again and again. You will offer her to go out for a
movie together and a date with you.

Young Man: Smiles

Old Man: My daughter may start liking you and start

waiting for you. After meeting regularly you will fall
in love with her and propose her for marriage.

Young Man: Smiles

Old Man: One day both of you will come to me and
tell
me about your love and ask for my permission.

Young Man: Oh Yes! and smiles

Old Man: (Angrily) Young man, I will never marry my
Daughter to a person like you who does not even own a
Watch

Posted in Analysis, Friends, Friends-Fun, Funny, Girls, Humor, Indian, Information, Jokes, Love, Marriage, NIce Trick, Office | 2 Comments »

By all Means… MARRY!

Posted by @ B H i on April 7, 2007

I recently read that love is entirely a matter of chemistry.
That must be why my wife treats me like toxic waste.
David Bissonette

When a man steals your wife, there is no better revenge than to let him keep her.
Sacha Guitry

After marriage, husband and wife become two sides of a coin; they just can’t face each other, but still they stay together.
Hemant Joshi

By all means marry. If you get a good wife, you’ll be happy. If you get a bad one, you’ll become a philosopher. Socrates

Woman inspires us to great things, and prevents us from achieving them.
Dumas

The great question… which I have not been able to answer… is, “What does a woman want?
Sigmund Freud

I had some words with my wife, and she had some paragraphs with me.
Anonymous

“Some people ask the secret of our long marriage. We take time to go to a restaurant two times a week. A little candlelight, dinner, soft music and dancing. She goes Tuesdays, I go Fridays.”
Henny Youngman

“I don’t worry about terrorism. I was married for two years.”
Sam Kinison

“There’s a way of transferring funds that is even faster than electronic banking. It’s called marriage.”
James Holt McGavran

“I’ve had bad luck with both my wives. The first one left me, and the second one didn’t.”
Patrick Murray

Two secrets to keep your marriage brimming
1. Whenever you’re wrong, admit it,
2. Whenever you’re right, shut up.
Nash

The most effective way to remember your wife’s birthday is to forget it once…
Anonymous

You know what I did before I married? Anything I wanted to.
Henny Youngman

My wife and I were happy for twenty years. Then we met.
Rodney Dangerfield

A good wife always forgives her husband when she’s wrong.
MiltonBerle

A man inserted an ‘ad’ in the classifieds: “Wife wanted”. Next day he received a hundred letters. They all said the same thing: “You can have mine.”
Anonymous

First Guy (proudly): “My wife’s an angel!”
Second Guy: “You’re lucky, mine’s still alive.”

Posted in Analysis, Enjoy Life, Friends, Friends-Fun, Funny, Girls, Humor, Jokes, Life, Love, Marriage | 1 Comment »

Great Love

Posted by @ B H i on April 7, 2007

January to december
sunday to saturday
Am to Pm
My feelings for u have never changed…….
u….
R….
always….
a HEADACHE to me !!!!

When u feel lonely and alone & cannot see any one around you,
the world seems to be fading away,
come along with me
i’ll take u an eye specialist !!

If marriages are made in heaven , then what are made in Hell?
Ans : the days after marriage

During Marriage ceremony why is the bridegroom is made to sit on the horse ?
He is given his last chance to run away.

The husband leaned over, made a wish and threw in a penny.
The wife decided to make a wish,too. But she leaned over too much, fell into the well, and drowned.
The husband was stunned for a while but then smiled “It really works!”

LOVE is like a CIGAR
It starts with a fire….. continues with smoke…..and ends in ashes…
But dont worry – we are chain smokers

ur smile can be compared to a flower
ur voice can be compared to a cuckoo
ur inocence to a child
but in stupidity
u have no comparison
u r the best

True love is like a pillow
u can hug when u r in trouble
u can cry on when u r in pain & u can embrace when u r happy

so when u need true love
spend Rs.50/-Buy a pillow

Dear Friend,

when i ask u flower,
u give me bouquet
when i ask u a stone
u give me a statue
when i ask u a feather
u give me peacock

ARE U REALLY DEAF ?

I had VODKA with WATER
I felt DRUNK
I had WHISKY with WATER
I felt DRUNK
I had RUM with WATER
I felt DRUNK
I SWEAR I’LL NEVER DRINK water….!!!

when i call u;
1 ring means i’m thinking of u;
2 ring means i like u;
3 means i miss u;
4 means ………pick d phone idiot

Teacher : four beautiful ladies r walking on the road. change it to exclamatory sentence
Student : WOW !

A cigarette shortens your life by 2 min..
A beer shortens your life by 4 min..
A working day shortens your life by 8 hours!!!!..

History Teacher : From where to where did the mughals rule ?
Student : sir, i am not sure but think from page 15 to 26 sir….

Teacher : U failure ! @ ur age Bill gates stood first in the class
Student : Mind u, Sir, but @ ur age hitler commited suicide

Posted in Analysis, Enjoy Life, Friends, Friends-Fun, Funny, Girls, Humor, Jokes, Life, Love, Marriage, NIce Trick | Leave a Comment »

Excerpts from HER & HIS diaries

Posted by @ B H i on March 25, 2007

HER DIARY…

I asked him what was wrong – he said, “Nothing.” I asked him if it was my
fault that he was upset. He said it had nothing to do with me and not to
worry. On the way home, I told him that I loved him, but he simply smiled
and kept driving. I can’t explain his behavior; I don’t know why he didn’t
say, “I love you too.”
When we got home, I felt as if I had lost him, as if he wanted nothing to
do with me anymore. He just sat there and watched TV; he seemed distant
and absent. Finally, I decided to go to bed.
About 10 minutes later he came to bed. I decided that I could not take it
anymore, so I decided to confront him with the situation but he had fallen
asleep.
I started crying and cried until I fell asleep. I do not know what to do.
I’m almost sure that his thoughts are with someone
else. My life is a disaster.

HIS DIARY…

Today India lost the cricket match again. DAMN IT.

Posted in Funny, Girls, Humor, Jokes, Marriage | Leave a Comment »

Girls : Funny … But True

Posted by @ B H i on March 24, 2007

A woman arrived at the Gates of Heaven. While she was waiting for Saint Peter to greet her, she peeked through the gates. She saw a beautiful banquet table. Sitting all around were her parents and all the other people she had loved and who had died before her. They saw her and began calling greetings to her “Hello – How are you! We’ve been waiting for you! Good to see you.”

When Saint Peter came by, the woman said to him, “This is such a wonderful place! How do I get in?” “You have to spell a word,” Saint Peter told her. “Which word?” the woman asked. “Love.” The woman correctly spelled “Love” and Saint Peter welcomed her into Heaven.

About a year later, Saint Peter came to the woman and asked her to watch the Gates of Heaven for him that day.

While the woman was guarding the Gates of Heaven, her husband arrived. “I’m surprised to see you,” the woman said. “How have you been?” “Oh, I’ve been doing pretty well since you died,” her husband told her. “I married the beautiful young nurse who took care of you while you were ill. And then I won the multi-state lottery. I sold the little house you and I lived in and bought a huge mansion. And my wife and I traveled all around the world. We were on vacation in Cancun and I went water skiing today. I fell and hit my head, and here I am. What a bummer!

How do I get in?” “You have to spell a word,” the woman told him. “Which word?” her husband asked. “Czechoslovakia.”

Moral of the story:  Never make a woman angry… There will be Hell to pay later!

Posted in Analysis, Enjoy Life, Friends, Friends-Fun, Funny, Girls, Humor, Jokes, Life, Love, Marriage | 2 Comments »

Wedding Query……. . (SQL Server Stored Procedure Style)

Posted by @ B H i on March 24, 2007

CREATE PROCEDURE MyMarriage
@
BrideGroom Char(NotBad) ,
@
Bride Char(Good)
 

AS
BEGIN

SELECT Bride FROM india_ Brides
WHERE

FatherInLaw = ‘Millionaire’
AND
CarCount > 2
AND
HouseStatus =’TwoStoreyed’
AND
BrideEduStatus= ‘PG orAbove’
AND
HavingBrothers= ‘NO’
AND
HavingSisters =’No’
AND
AllowRelocate =’YES’

SELECT Gold ,Cash,Car,BankBalan ce FROM FatherInLaw

UPDATE MyBankAccout SET MyBal = MyBal + FatherinLawBal
UPDATE
MyLocker SET MyLockerContents = MyLockerContents + FatherinLawGold

INSERT INTO MyCarShed VALUES (‘BMW’)

END
GO 

Posted in Analysis, Enjoy Life, Friends, Friends-Fun, Funny, Girls, Humor, Jokes, Life, Love, Marriage, NIce Trick | Leave a Comment »

March Horoscope 2007 Overview

Posted by @ B H i on March 13, 2007

  • Aquarius March Horoscope 2007 ( January 20 – February 18)
  • Pisces March Horoscope 2007 ( February 19 – March 20 )
  • ARIES March Horoscope 2007 ( March 21 – April 19 )
  • Taurus March Horoscope 2007 ( Aprial 20 – May 20 )
  • Gemini March Horoscope 2007 ( May 21 – June 20 )
  • Cancer March Horoscope 2007 ( June 21 – July 22 )
  • Leo March Horoscope 2007 ( July 23 – August 22 )
  • Virgo March Horoscope 2007 ( August 23 – September 22 )
  • Libra March Horoscope 2007 ( September 23 – October 22 )
  • Scorpio March Horoscope 2007 ( Octpober 23 – November 21)
  • Sagittarius March Horoscope 2007 ( November 22 – December 21 )
  • Capricorn March Horoscope 2007 ( December 22 – January 19 )
  • Posted in Horoscope, Humor, Indian, Information, Life, Love, Marriage, World Cup Prediction | Leave a Comment »