Jokes

Laughter All The Way….

Archive for June, 2006

PJ of the day

Posted by @ B H i on June 29, 2006

Once in MIT, there was an Indian student.
He was very briliant, and his General Knowledge (GK) was excellent.
He won every Quiz in the institute .... Once he fell in love with a
Phirang i girl...
He proposed the girl, but She straight way rejected him ... calling him
Bloody Desi...
So after this, his GK fell drastically, and he stopped taking part in Quiz
and all.....
Now, u tell me the reason ... WHY ???
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becoz,

Jab Dil hee toot gaya....
toh GK kya karenge ...

Posted in Poor Jokes | 47 Comments »

Kuch Seekho Bhai……..

Posted by @ B H i on June 29, 2006

An older, white haired man walked into a jewelry store one Friday
evening
with a beautiful young gal at his side.

He told the jeweler he was looking for a special ring for his
girlfriend.
The jeweler looked through his stock and brought out a $5,000 ring and
showed it to him.

The old man said, “I don’t think you understand, I want something very
special.”

At that statement, the jeweler went to his special stock and brought
another ring over. “Here’s a stunning ring at only $40,000,” the jeweler
said.

The young lady’s eyes sparkled and her whole body trembled with
excitement.

The old man seeing this said, “We’ll take it.”

The jeweler asked how payment would be made and the old man stated, “by
check.”

“I know you need to make sure my cheqe is good, so I’ll write it now and
you can call the bank Monday to verify the funds and I’ll pick the ring
up Monday afternoon.”

Monday morning, a very teed-off jeweler phoned the old man. “There’s no
money in that account.”

“I know”, said the old man, “but can you imagine watta weekend I had?”

Posted in Awesome | 2 Comments »

IE Tricks

Posted by @ B H i on June 29, 2006

1. Open internet explorer
2. In the address bar type the following
3. http://<your name> .youaremighty.com and press enter
(For eg: http://abhishek.youaremighty.com )
4. Turn on the speakers if available.

Posted in NIce Trick | 2 Comments »

puzzles .. Try to solve it .

Posted by @ B H i on June 29, 2006

1. A murderer is condemned to death. He has to choose between three
Rooms
.

The first is full of raging fires, the second is full of assassins
With Loaded guns, and the third is full of lions that haven’t eaten in
3
Years.

Which room is safest for
him
?

——————————————————————————

2. A woman shoots her
husband.
Then she holds him under water for over
5 Minutes. Finally, she hangs him. But 5 minutes later they both go out
Together and enjoy a wonderful dinner together. How can this
be?

——————————————————————————

3. There are two plastic jugs filled with
water.
How could you put all
Of This water into a barrel, without using the jugs or any dividers,
and
Still  Tell which water came from which
jug?

——————————————————————————

4. What is black when you buy it, red when you use it, and gray when
You Throw it
away?

——————————————————————————

5. Can you name three consecutive days without using the words Monday ,
Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, or
Sunday
?

——————————————————————————

6. This is an unusual
paragraph
.

I’m curious how quickly you can find out what is so unusual about it.
It Looks so plain you would think nothing was wrong with it. In fact,
Nothing Is wrong with it! It is unusual though. Study it, and think
about
it,
But You still may not find anything odd. But if you work at it a bit,
you
Might Find
out.

——————————————————————————

Scroll down for
the

Answers…………………..

Answers:

——————————————————————————

1. The third. Lions that haven’t eaten in three years are
dead
.

——————————————————————————

2. The woman was a photographer. She shot a picture of her husband,
Developed it, and hung it up to dry

.

——————————————————————————

3. Freeze them first. Take them out of the jugs and put the ice in the
Barrel. You will be able to tell which water came
>From which
jug.

——————————————————————————

4. The answer is
Charcoal
.

——————————————————————————

5. Sure you can: Yesterday, Today, and Tomorrow!

——————————————————————————

6 . The letter “e,” which is the most common letter in the English
Language,
Does not appear once in the long paragraph

——————

Posted in Quiz | Leave a Comment »

Notepad Trick

Posted by @ B H i on June 29, 2006

1. create a blank document with note pad.2. write the text “.LOG” into it(with out quotes)

3. Press enter

4. save the document (any name… .txt extention)

5. close it

6. re open it

Posted in NIce Trick, Software | 1 Comment »

Jokes

Posted by @ B H i on June 29, 2006

Sita:Truck ka horn sunkar tum kaapne kyu lagte ho?

Titu: Ek truck driver meri biwi ko bhagaa le gaya tha, lagta hai jaise usko vapas laya ho.

——————————————————————-

Boyfriend-Sorry mein tumse shadi nahi kar sakta  gharwale mana karrahe hai.

Girlfriend-Ghar me kaun kaun hai?

Boyfriend-1 biwi aur 3 bachhe!

——————————————————————-

Posted in Jokes | 1 Comment »

GOD is missing

Posted by @ B H i on June 29, 2006

Two little boys, ages 8 and 10, are excessively
Mischievous. They are always getting into trouble and
Their parents know all about it. If any mischief
Occurs in their town, the two boys are probably
Involved.

The boys’ mother heard that a preacher in
Town had been successful in disciplining children, so
She asked if he would speak with her boys.

The
Preacher agreed, but he asked to see them
Individually.

So the mother sent the 8 year old first, in the
Morning, with the older boy to see the preacher in the
Afternoon.

The preacher, a huge man with a booming
Voice, sat the younger boy down and asked him
Sternly,

“Do you know where God is,
son?”
The boy’s mouth
Dropped open, but he made no response, sitting there
Wide-eyed with his mouth hanging open.

So the preacher repeated the question in an even

Sterner tone, “Where is
God?!”

Again, the boy made no attempt to answer. The preacher
Raised his voice even more and shook his finger in the
Boy’s’ face and bellowed,

“Where is
God
?!”

The boy screamed and bolted from the room, ran
Directly home and dove into his closet, slamming the
Door behind him.

When his older brother found him in the closet, he
Asked, “what
happened?”
The younger brother, gasping
For breath, replied, “We are in BIG trouble this
time
.”

GOD is missing, and they think we did
it
!   ………   !

Posted in Jokes | 1 Comment »

Girls Like Guys

Posted by @ B H i on June 29, 2006

Well here are a few reasons that girls like guys

1. The way they always wear their favorite cologne (which happens to be
the one that you bought them for their birthday)
2. The way the run their hands through your hair
3. The way that they look at you and you want to die right then and there
4. The way that they casually put their arms around you
5. The way that they kiss away your tears
6. …and the way that they then get mad at how they can’t make your
problem go away
7. The way they show off around their friends, even though you both know
that you would love them even if they missed a basket or two
8. How there eyes light up at the result of 3 hours of preparing for your
date
9. How they always know just what to say to make you blush
10. How they sometimes think that they know just what to say to make you
feel better, even if you think that it is the worst thing that they could
say
11. The way they hold you close when you are cold
12. How they look at you when your mad at them and all your anger melts away
13. How they always smile when you are together
14. The way that they always let you win any game that you play together
15. … and then when you point that out to them they pretend to not know
what you are talking about
16. The way that they smile at you
17. The way that you feel when they call to apologize after you had a big
fight
18. The way that they say I love you
19. The way that they say I love you in front of their friends
20. The way that they touch and hold you so gently, like they are afraid
that they will break you
21. The way that they kiss you
22. The way that they open their arms to you when you are crying
23. The way that they never admit that you hurt them
24. The way that they try not to cry when they are afraid that they are
losing you
25. The way that they think that they are your big protector, even though
you think that you are theirs
26. The way that they say I miss you, even though they hate to admit it
27. The way that you miss everything about them when they are gone
28. The way that they remember your special moments, or aniversaries when
you think that they forgot
29. The way that they apologize when they do forget
30. The way that they comfort you when you have a bad day
31. The way that you can’t wait to get home and tell them all about your day
32. The way that they write you love letters even if they think that it is
uncool
33. How they would rather be with you then their friends sometime
34. How you want to hug them even though they are all sweaty
35. Yet regardless if you love them, hate them, wish they would die or
know that you would die without them… it matters not. Because once in
your life, whatever they were to the world they become everything to you.
When you look them in the eyes, traveling to the depths of their souls and
you say a million things without a trace of sound, you know that your own
life is inevitabley comsumed within the rhythimic beatings of his heart.
We love them for a million reasons, No paper would do it justice. It is a
thing a feeling, that is only felt.

Posted in Girls | 7 Comments »

Desi Summer of 69′

Posted by @ B H i on June 29, 2006

I had my first real six rupees,
stole it from my father's pants.
went to a madrasi hotel,
to eat the sambhar of 69.
Me and some kadke dost,

had it all and we caught bukhaar,
jimy puked, joey got ulcers,
and Bagga ne maari dakar.

Oh when I went back there now,
the food was as stale as ever,
and though it was 1999,
still the sambhar was being served over there,

that was the worst food of my life.

Therez no use in complaining,
when you got no other place to eat,
rushed in the evening to the doctors clinic, but he too was at the toilet
seat, yeah

standing there waiting outside,
nurse told me I will wait forever,
oh and when I held my breath,
I knew that I had to use that loo there
That was the worst food of my life.

Back to the sambhar of 69.

Man I was getting killed,
I was full and restless,
I needed to unwind,
I guess nothing can wait forever

Posted in Indian | 2 Comments »

Nice One

Posted by @ B H i on June 29, 2006

Ravan had 20 eyes but he sighted only one woman ….you have only 2 eyes but
you sight every woman. Now who is Ravan?
****************************

Scientists are trying to figure out how long a person can live without
brain. Please tell them your age!
*****************************

Mistakes are not crime……if  you correct them they are the key of
success. FOR EXAMPLE….God created you …….He then created me.
*****************************

Munna bhai: agar bina daton ka kuta kate to kya karna chahiye?  Circuit:
simple bhai , bina sui ke injection lena chahiye.
***********************

Bikhari: 50 paise de de maine 3 din se khana nahin khaya hai.
Kanjoos: 10 rupaye dunga, pahele ye bata 50 paise mein khana kahan milta
hai.
****************************

Santa: Yaar bachpan mein 20  male se gir gaya tha.
Banta: to fir bach gaya ya mar gaya?
Santa: yaad nahin hai bahut purani baat hai.
*************************

Boy: mom, aaj mera dost ghar aa raha hai….ghar ke sab khilone  chhupa de.
Mom: tera dost chor hai kya?
Boy: nahin, woh apne khilone pahechan lega.
*********************

In aptitude test…River Kaveri is in which state?
Sardar: liquid state.
*************************

INTERVIEW : Imagine, in a closed room, how can you escape if it caught
fire?
Sardar: Simple, stop imagining.
****************************

Sardar starts shouting in a store…… where is my free gift with this
oil?
Shopkeeper : there is nothing free with this.
Sardar: it is written CHOLESTROL FREE.
***********************

Sardar 100 watt bulb par baap ka naam likh raha tha.
Baap ne puchha “kya kar rahe ho?”
Sardar : baap ka naam roshan kar raha hoon.
***********************

Two Sardars were walking together.
1st Sardar: Yaar mar gaya , meri biwi aur premika saath aa rahi hain.
2nd Sardar: oye, main bhi yehi bol raha tha.
**************************

PAPAD aur JAPAD mein kya farak hai.
Khake dekho pata chal jayega.
***************************

Sardar: in my dreams rats play football every night.
DR: take this tablet you will be ok.
Sardar: Can I take tommorrow, tonight is final game.

Posted in Analysis, Jokes | 4 Comments »