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Archive for March, 2007

April Horoscope 2007 : April Horoscopes 2007

Posted by @ B H i on March 28, 2007

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In prayer, guys its worth reading it

Posted by @ B H i on March 25, 2007

A man walking along a California beach was deep in prayer.  Suddenly the sky clouded above his head and, in a booming voice, the Lord said, “Because you have TRIED to be faithful to me in all ways, I will grant you one wish.” The man said, “Build a bridge to Hawaii so I can drive over anytime I want.”
The Lord said, “Your request is very materialistic. Think of the enormous challenges for that kind of undertaking. The supports required to reach the bottom of the Pacific! The concrete and steel it would take! It will nearly exhaust several natural resources.  I can do it, but it is hard for me to justify your desire for worldly things. Take a little more time and think of something that would honor and glorify me.”
The man thought about it for a long time. Finally he said, “Lord, I wish that I could understand my wife. I want to know how she feels inside, what she’s thinking when she gives me the silent treatment, why she cries, what she means when she says ‘nothing’s wrong,’ and how I can make a woman truly happy.”
The Lord replied, “You want two lanes or four on that bridge?”

Posted in Analysis, Funny, Girls, Humor | 1 Comment »

I know what Ur doing after lunch Break !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ; -)

Posted by @ B H i on March 25, 2007

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Posted in Funny, Humor, Office | Leave a Comment »

Boys are boys :Good One

Posted by @ B H i on March 25, 2007

> Ek Bus main Ladke aur Ladkiyon ki team bani , Antakshari khelane ke

> liye

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> Girls : Hum tumko hara ke dikhayenge

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> Any Guesses for BOYS response

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> socho socho………………

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> Are bhai boys are boys……………..       >

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> Boys: Hum Har gaye , Chalo aab dikhao… !

Posted in Enjoy Life, Friends, Friends-Fun, Funny, Girls, Humor, Jokes, Life, Love, NIce Trick, Office, School-College | Leave a Comment »

Excerpts from HER & HIS diaries

Posted by @ B H i on March 25, 2007

HER DIARY…

I asked him what was wrong – he said, “Nothing.” I asked him if it was my
fault that he was upset. He said it had nothing to do with me and not to
worry. On the way home, I told him that I loved him, but he simply smiled
and kept driving. I can’t explain his behavior; I don’t know why he didn’t
say, “I love you too.”
When we got home, I felt as if I had lost him, as if he wanted nothing to
do with me anymore. He just sat there and watched TV; he seemed distant
and absent. Finally, I decided to go to bed.
About 10 minutes later he came to bed. I decided that I could not take it
anymore, so I decided to confront him with the situation but he had fallen
asleep.
I started crying and cried until I fell asleep. I do not know what to do.
I’m almost sure that his thoughts are with someone
else. My life is a disaster.

HIS DIARY…

Today India lost the cricket match again. DAMN IT.

Posted in Funny, Girls, Humor, Jokes, Marriage | Leave a Comment »

Jappier’s Spoken English

Posted by @ B H i on March 24, 2007

In Tamilnadu, there is a well known person by name, Mr. Jeppier ,
Chairman of Sathyabama deemed university and some more self financing
colleges, always speaks in English. Thatcollege s tudents have
collected & published a book by name “Jappier’s Spoken English”
…. Njoy ………..with his…………..English…………..

Now, here are some classic English sentences from the great
“Jappier’s Spoken English”

# At the ground:
—————–
All of you stand in a straight circle.  (Straigh circle)
There is no wind in the balloon.     (ballon without air…fushhh)
The girl with the mirror please comes her…{Means: girl with specs
please come here).

# To a boy, angrily:
———————
I talk, he talk, why you middle middle talk?

# While punishing students:
———————–
You, rotate the ground four times…
You, go and understand the tree…
You three of you stand together separately.
Why are you late – say YES or NO …..(?)
# Sir at his best:
—————
Sir had once gone to a film with his wife. By chance, he happened to
see one of our boys at the theatre, though the boy did no t see them.
So the next day at s school… (to that boy) – “Yesterday I saw you
WITH MY WIFE at the Cinema Theatre”

# Sir at his best inside the Class room:
———————————————-
Open the doors of the window. Let the atmosphere come in.
Open the doors of the window. Let the Air Force come in.
Cut an apple into two halves – I will take the bigger half.
Shhh…Quiet, boys…the principal JUST PASSED AWAY in the corridor
You, meet me behind the class. (Meaning AFTER the class..)
This one is cool >> “Both of u three get out of the class.”
Close the doors of the windows please. I have winter in my nose today…
Take Copper Wire of any metal especially of Silver…..
Take 5 cm wire of any length….

Last but not the least some Jeppiar experiences …

Once Sir had come late to a college function, by the time he reached,
the function had begun, so he went to the dais, and said, sorry I am
late, because on the way my car hit 2 muttons (Meaning goats).

At Sathyabama college day 2002:

“This college strict u the worry no …. U get good marks, I the
happy, tomorrow u get good job, jpr the happy, tomorrow u marry I the
enjoy”

At St. Josephs college of engineering fresh years day 2003:

“No ragging this college. Anybody rag we arrest the police “

Posted in Analysis, Friends, Friends-Fun, Funny, Humor, Indian, Office, School-College | 10 Comments »

Girls : Funny … But True

Posted by @ B H i on March 24, 2007

A woman arrived at the Gates of Heaven. While she was waiting for Saint Peter to greet her, she peeked through the gates. She saw a beautiful banquet table. Sitting all around were her parents and all the other people she had loved and who had died before her. They saw her and began calling greetings to her “Hello – How are you! We’ve been waiting for you! Good to see you.”

When Saint Peter came by, the woman said to him, “This is such a wonderful place! How do I get in?” “You have to spell a word,” Saint Peter told her. “Which word?” the woman asked. “Love.” The woman correctly spelled “Love” and Saint Peter welcomed her into Heaven.

About a year later, Saint Peter came to the woman and asked her to watch the Gates of Heaven for him that day.

While the woman was guarding the Gates of Heaven, her husband arrived. “I’m surprised to see you,” the woman said. “How have you been?” “Oh, I’ve been doing pretty well since you died,” her husband told her. “I married the beautiful young nurse who took care of you while you were ill. And then I won the multi-state lottery. I sold the little house you and I lived in and bought a huge mansion. And my wife and I traveled all around the world. We were on vacation in Cancun and I went water skiing today. I fell and hit my head, and here I am. What a bummer!

How do I get in?” “You have to spell a word,” the woman told him. “Which word?” her husband asked. “Czechoslovakia.”

Moral of the story:  Never make a woman angry… There will be Hell to pay later!

Posted in Analysis, Enjoy Life, Friends, Friends-Fun, Funny, Girls, Humor, Jokes, Life, Love, Marriage | 2 Comments »

Wedding Query……. . (SQL Server Stored Procedure Style)

Posted by @ B H i on March 24, 2007

CREATE PROCEDURE MyMarriage
@
BrideGroom Char(NotBad) ,
@
Bride Char(Good)
 

AS
BEGIN

SELECT Bride FROM india_ Brides
WHERE

FatherInLaw = ‘Millionaire’
AND
CarCount > 2
AND
HouseStatus =’TwoStoreyed’
AND
BrideEduStatus= ‘PG orAbove’
AND
HavingBrothers= ‘NO’
AND
HavingSisters =’No’
AND
AllowRelocate =’YES’

SELECT Gold ,Cash,Car,BankBalan ce FROM FatherInLaw

UPDATE MyBankAccout SET MyBal = MyBal + FatherinLawBal
UPDATE
MyLocker SET MyLockerContents = MyLockerContents + FatherinLawGold

INSERT INTO MyCarShed VALUES (‘BMW’)

END
GO 

Posted in Analysis, Enjoy Life, Friends, Friends-Fun, Funny, Girls, Humor, Jokes, Life, Love, Marriage, NIce Trick | Leave a Comment »

India – Pakistan Unity

Posted by @ B H i on March 24, 2007

India Pakistan Unity

 

 

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Posted in Analysis, Cricket World Cup 2007, Current Issues, Enjoy Life, Friends, Friends-Fun, Funny, Humor, Indian, Jokes | 1 Comment »

Unwritten Rules

Posted by @ B H i on March 24, 2007

Some Rules that NEWTON forgot to mention

Law of queue: If you change queues, the one you have left will start
to move faster than the one you are in now.

Law of the Telephone: When you dial a wrong number, you never get an
engaged tone.

Law of Mechanical Repair: After your hands become coated with grease,
your nose will begin to itch.

Law of the Workshop: Any tool, when dropped, will roll to the least
accessible corner.

Law of the Alibi: If you tell the boss you were late for work because
you had a flat tire, the next morning you will have a flat tire.

Bath THEOREM: When the body is immersed in water, the telephone rings.

LAW OF ENCOUNTERS: The probability of meeting someone you know
increases when you are with someone you don’t want to be seen with.

LAW of the RESULT: When you try to prove to someone that a machine
won’t work, it will!

LAW OF BIOMECHANICS: The severity of the itch is inversely
proportional to the reach.

THEATRE RULE: People with the seats at the furthest from the aisle
arrive last.

LAW OF COFFEE: As soon as you sit down for a cup of hot coffee, your
boss will ask you to do something which will last until the coffee is
cold.

Posted in Analysis, Funny, Humor, Information, Jokes, Life | Leave a Comment »