Britney’s honeymoon poem

Britney, now officially married to Kevin Federline,
has written this poem about their honeymoon.

A honeymoon at last, to get away from it all
My assistant Fe gave me the call.

I remember it well, as she was smilin’
She said it was called Turtle Island.

I packed my bags light and quick,
Then grabbed my pink dress & favorite lipstick.

We hopped on a plane and took our flight
I slept really well, all through the night.

As we arrive, I turn and look out the door,
People are greeting us right at the shore.

A meal, a shower and some ice cream
Then I threw my man down, you know what I mean!

Magical nights filled with stars
Silence is golden, no running cars.

Private dinners, romantic fires
Little piece of heaven, whatever your heart desires.

Friendly “hellos” and never goodbyes
When you’re having fun, oh, how time flies!

As we sit and prepare to make our part
I thank you, Turtle Island, with all my heart!

More Collection of great romantic and bewaf Sher aur Sayari at Shayari-e-Azam

Joke: Valentine’s Day

There were three men drinking in a bar, a doctor, an attorney and a biker. As the doctor was drinking his white wine he said, “For Valentine’s Day I’m going to buy my wife a fur coat and a diamond ring. This way if she doesn’t like the fur coat she will still love me because she got a diamond ring.”
As the attorney was drinking his martini he said, “For Valentine’s Day I’m going to buy my wife a designer dress and a gold bracelet. This way if she doesn’t like the dress she will still love me because she got the gold bracelet.”
As the biker was drinking his shots of whiskey he said, “For Valentine’s Day I’m going to buy my wife a t-shirt and a vibrator. This way if she doesn’t like the t-shirt she can go fuck herself!”

Wife- Husband in Strip Club

A wife decides to take her husband to a strip club for his birthday.
They arrive at the club and the doorman says, “Hey, Dave! How ya doin’?”
His wife is puzzled and asks if he’s been to this club before.
“Oh no,” says Dave. “He’s on my bowling team.”

When they are seated, a waitress asks Dave if he’d like his usual and  brings over a Budweiser.
His wife is becoming increasingly uncomfortable and says, “How did she know that you drink Budweiser?”

“She’s in the Ladies’ Bowling League, honey. We share lanes with them.”
A stripper then comes over to their table, throws her arms around Dave, and says “Hi Davey. Want your usual table dance, big boy?”

Dave’s wife, now furious, grabs her purse and storms out of the club.
Dave follows and spots her getting into a cab.
Before she can slam the door, he jumps in beside her.

He tries desperately to explain how the stripper must have mistaken him for someone else, but his wife is having none of it.
She is screaming at him at the top of her lungs, calling him every name in the book.

The cabby turns his head and says, “Looks like you picked up a real bitch tonight, Dave.”

Husband goes to psychiatrist

After many years of married life, a man finds that he is unable to perform his duties as a husband between the sheets. He goes to his doctor, tries a few things, but nothing works.
“It’s all in your mind,” says the doctor, and refers him to a psychiatrist. After a few visits, the shrink confesses: “I am at a loss as to how you could possibly be cured.” The psychiatrist refers him to a witch doctor.
The witch doctor says: “I can cure this.”
He throws some powder on a flame, and there is a flash with billowing blue smoke. “This is powerful healing, but you can use it once a year,” says the witch doctor.
“All you have to do is say ‘123′ and it shall rise for as long as you wish!”
The guy then asks the witch doctor: “What happens when it’s over?”
The witch doctor says: “All you or your partner has to say is ‘1234′ and it will go down. But be warned; after that it will not work again for a year!”
The guy goes home, and that night he is so excited and anxious to surprise his wife. They get into bed and he says: “123,” and just like magic he gets an erection.
His wife rolls over and asks: “What did you say ‘123′ for?”

Wasp in woman’s vagina

A young husband and wife were sunning on a nude beach when a wasp buzzed into the woman’s vagina. The husband covered her with a coat, pulled on his shorts, carried her to the car and made a dash to the hospital.

After examining her, the doctor explained that the wasp was too far in to be reached with forceps. He suggested the husband try to entice it out by putting honey on his penis, penetrating her and withdrawing as soon as he felt the wasp.

The man agreed to try, but because he was so nervous, he couldn’t rise to the occasion. “if neither of you objects,” the medic said, “I could give it a try.”

Under the circumstances, both agreed. The doctor quickly undressed, slathered on some honey and mounted the woman. The husband watched with increasing alarm as the doctor’s thrust continued for several long minutes. “Hey, What the hell is happening?”

“Change of plans,” The physician panted.” I’m going to drown the little bastard!”