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Archive for the ‘Enjoy Life’ Category

Girls : Funny … But True

Posted by @ B H i on March 24, 2007

A woman arrived at the Gates of Heaven. While she was waiting for Saint Peter to greet her, she peeked through the gates. She saw a beautiful banquet table. Sitting all around were her parents and all the other people she had loved and who had died before her. They saw her and began calling greetings to her “Hello – How are you! We’ve been waiting for you! Good to see you.”

When Saint Peter came by, the woman said to him, “This is such a wonderful place! How do I get in?” “You have to spell a word,” Saint Peter told her. “Which word?” the woman asked. “Love.” The woman correctly spelled “Love” and Saint Peter welcomed her into Heaven.

About a year later, Saint Peter came to the woman and asked her to watch the Gates of Heaven for him that day.

While the woman was guarding the Gates of Heaven, her husband arrived. “I’m surprised to see you,” the woman said. “How have you been?” “Oh, I’ve been doing pretty well since you died,” her husband told her. “I married the beautiful young nurse who took care of you while you were ill. And then I won the multi-state lottery. I sold the little house you and I lived in and bought a huge mansion. And my wife and I traveled all around the world. We were on vacation in Cancun and I went water skiing today. I fell and hit my head, and here I am. What a bummer!

How do I get in?” “You have to spell a word,” the woman told him. “Which word?” her husband asked. “Czechoslovakia.”

Moral of the story:  Never make a woman angry… There will be Hell to pay later!

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Posted in Analysis, Enjoy Life, Friends, Friends-Fun, Funny, Girls, Humor, Jokes, Life, Love, Marriage | 2 Comments »

Wedding Query……. . (SQL Server Stored Procedure Style)

Posted by @ B H i on March 24, 2007

CREATE PROCEDURE MyMarriage
@
BrideGroom Char(NotBad) ,
@
Bride Char(Good)
 

AS
BEGIN

SELECT Bride FROM india_ Brides
WHERE

FatherInLaw = ‘Millionaire’
AND
CarCount > 2
AND
HouseStatus =’TwoStoreyed’
AND
BrideEduStatus= ‘PG orAbove’
AND
HavingBrothers= ‘NO’
AND
HavingSisters =’No’
AND
AllowRelocate =’YES’

SELECT Gold ,Cash,Car,BankBalan ce FROM FatherInLaw

UPDATE MyBankAccout SET MyBal = MyBal + FatherinLawBal
UPDATE
MyLocker SET MyLockerContents = MyLockerContents + FatherinLawGold

INSERT INTO MyCarShed VALUES (‘BMW’)

END
GO 

Posted in Analysis, Enjoy Life, Friends, Friends-Fun, Funny, Girls, Humor, Jokes, Life, Love, Marriage, NIce Trick | Leave a Comment »

India – Pakistan Unity

Posted by @ B H i on March 24, 2007

India Pakistan Unity

 

 

image11.jpg

Posted in Analysis, Cricket World Cup 2007, Current Issues, Enjoy Life, Friends, Friends-Fun, Funny, Humor, Indian, Jokes | 1 Comment »

Why India lost World cup final 2003 ?????????

Posted by @ B H i on March 24, 2007

 

***********Very serious matter **********

Reason:


Just in case you were still wondering as to why India lost the final of the
2003 world cup after playing so well in the league games, probably here lies the answer…..

The teams that qualified for the super six stage…

 

India , Sri Lanka , Australia , New Zealand , Kenya ,Zimbabwe .

 

Note there are two teams each from the continents of Asia ,Australasia &
Africa respectively ..

 

The teams that have the last alphabet “a” in their names qualified for the
semifinals viz.

 

Indi’a’ , Australi’a’ , Keny’a’ & Sri Lank’a’.

 

The teams that have alphabets “ia” at the last of their name qualified for
the Final i.e

 

Ind “ia” & Austral”ia “.

 

Now,

 

Kisne World Cup ”lia” – Austra”lia”

 

Kisne World Cup “dia” – In”dia”

Posted in Analysis, Cricket World Cup 2007, Enjoy Life, Friends, Friends-Fun, Funny, Humor, Indian, Information, Jokes, Life, NIce Trick, Office, Poor Jokes, Random Thoughts, Self Awareness, Short Stories | 2 Comments »

Poem : You Made The Difference!

Posted by @ B H i on March 16, 2007

A friend like you must be sent from above,
given to me because of His precious love.

Before I found you, I wanted to give up on life,
the feelings and pain I was dealing with cut like a knife.

But you explained to me that I could make a choice
To live unhappy or to rejoice.

You showed me that life is what you make of it,
and it was my choice to submit…

to the good or evil side of life,
to live with joy or to live with strife.

Thank God for you, I chose joy,
and the rest of my life was not destroyed.

You’ve made such a difference in how I see myself.
So to everyone in this world, I hope you hear this message and take care of yourself!

Life is filled with so much pain, but we have to find ways to deal with it. Live each day to it’s fullest. Send this page to anyone who either really needs some inspiration or someone who has made a difference in your life.

Posted in Analysis, Enjoy Life, Friends, Friends-Fun, Funny, Girls, Humor, Information, Jokes, Life, Love, NIce Trick | Leave a Comment »

Great One

Posted by @ B H i on March 16, 2007

January to december
sunday to saturday
Am to Pm
My feelings for u have never changed…….
u….
R….
always….
a HEADACHE to me !!!!

When u feel lonely and alone & cannot see any one around you,
the world seems to be fading away,
come along with me
i’ll take u an eye specialist !!

If marriages are made in heaven , then what are made in Hell?
Ans : the days after marriage

During Marriage ceremony why is the bridegroom is made to sit on the horse ?
He is given his last chance to run away.

The husband leaned over, made a wish and threw in a penny.
The wife decided to make a wish,too. But she leaned over too much, fell into the well, and drowned.
The husband was stunned for a while but then smiled “It really works!”

LOVE is like a CIGAR
It starts with a fire….. continues with smoke…..and ends in ashes…
But dont worry – we are chain smokers

ur smile can be compared to a flower
ur voice can be compared to a cuckoo
ur inocence to a child
but in stupidity
u have no comparison
u r the best

True love is like a pillow
u can hug when u r in trouble
u can cry on when u r in pain & u can embrace when u r happy

so when u need true love
spend Rs.50/-Buy a pillow

Dear Friend,

when i ask u flower,
u give me bouquet
when i ask u a stone
u give me a statue
when i ask u a feather
u give me peacock

ARE U REALLY DEAF ?

I had VODKA with WATER
I felt DRUNK
I had WHISKY with WATER
I felt DRUNK
I had RUM with WATER
I felt DRUNK
I SWEAR I’LL NEVER DRINK water….!!!

when i call u;
1 ring means i’m thinking of u;
2 ring means i like u;
3 means i miss u;
4 means ………pick d phone idiot

Teacher : four beautiful ladies r walking on the road. change it to exclamatory sentence …
Student : WOW !

A cigarette shortens your life by 2 min..
A beer shortens your life by 4 min..
A working day shortens your life by 8 hours!!!!..

History Teacher : From where to where did the mughals rule ?
Student : sir, i am not sure but think from page 15 to 26 sir….

Teacher : U failure ! @ ur age Bill gates stood first in the class
Student : Mind u, Sir, but @ ur age hitler commited suicide

Posted in Analysis, Enjoy Life, Friends, Friends-Fun, Funny, Humor, Information, Jokes, Life, Love, NIce Trick, Quotations, Random Thoughts, Self Awareness | Leave a Comment »

Some Good Old Sayings

Posted by @ B H i on March 16, 2007

Really Nice…..

* There are some things that money can’t buy. For everything else, my salary isn’t sufficient!!
* I try to go the extra mile at work, but my boss always finds me and brings me back.
* They can’t fire me, slaves have to be sold.
* Home is where the television is.
* Before borrowing money from a friend, decide which you need more.
* Death is hereditary.
* Many things can be preserved in alcohol. Dignity is not one of them.
* Never argue with a fool. People might not know the difference.
* When you’re right, no one remembers. When you’re wrong, no one forgets.
* Experience is what a comb gives you after you lose your hair.
* Well done is better than well said.
* Everyone makes mistakes. The trick is to make them when nobody is looking.
* Always borrow money from a pessimist. He won’t expect it back.
* You’re not drunk if you can lie on the floor without holding on.
* I like work. It fascinates me. I can sit and look at it for hours.
* If you can’t see the bright side of life, polish the dull side.
* Pessimist: A person that looks both ways when crossing a one way street.
* The light at the end of the tunnel is the headlamp of an approaching train.
* Where there’s a will there are five hundred relatives.
* I have a drinking problem – I can’t afford it.
* Everyone should have a spouse, because there are a number of things that go
Wrong that one can’t blame on the government.
* There are three sides to every argument: your side, my side and the right side.
* An expert is someone who takes a subject you understand and makes it sound
Confusing.

And finally

* Everybody wants to go to heaven, but nobody wants to die.

Posted in Analysis, Enjoy Life, Humor, Information, Life, Quotations, Random Thoughts | 175 Comments »

Morning for software professionals

Posted by @ B H i on March 15, 2007

IN THE CONFINES OF CUBICLES BY ARTIFICIAL LIGHT,
SIPIN COFFEE FROM THE MACHINES DAY N NIGHT,
SPEAKING ON THE PHONES IN THE MEETING WE SIT,
STARING AT THE MONITOR THE KEYBOARD WE HIT,
FAR AWAY FROM OUR LOVED ONES WHOM FOR,
DAYS WE DO NOT MEET,
REMEMBERING THEM WORKING ON OUR SEAT,
THIS IS LIFE FOR US AWAY FROM OUR LOVED ONES,
WE ARE…………………….

SOFTWARE PROFESSIONALS.

 

A VERY GOOD MORNING TO ALL SOFTWARE PROFESSIONALS

Posted in Analysis, Enjoy Life, Office, Self Awareness, wishes and hopes | 1 Comment »

Some Whacky Quotes

Posted by @ B H i on March 15, 2007

Put your hand on a hot stove for a minute, and it
seems like an hour. Sit with a pretty girl for an
hour, and it seems like a minute. THAT’S
relativity.

– Albert Einstein

 

 

The brain is a wonderful organ. It starts working
the moment you get up in the morning and does not
stop until you get into the office.

– Robert Frost

 

 

 

The trouble with being punctual is that nobody’s there to appreciate it.

– Franklin P. Jones

 

 

 

We must believe in luck. For how else can we explain
the success of those we don’t like?

– Jean Cocturan

 

 

 

It matters not whether you win or lose; what matters is whether I win or lose.

– Darrin Weinberg

 

 

 

Life is pleasant. Death is peaceful.
It’s the transition that’s troublesome.

 

 

Help a man when he is in trouble and he will
remember you when he is in trouble again.

 

 

Complex problems have simple, easy to understand wrong answers.

It is not exactly cheating, I prefer to consider it creative problem solving.

 

Whoever said money can’t buy happiness, didn’t know where to shop.

 

Alcohol doesn’t solve any problems, but then again, neither does milk.

 

 

Most people are only alive because it is illegal to shoot them.

 

 

Forgive your enemies but remember their names.

 

 

The number of people watching you is directly proportional to the stupidity of your action.

 

Don’t worry that the world ends today, it’s already tomorrow in Australia!

Posted in Analysis, Enjoy Life, Friends, Friends-Fun, Funny, Humor, Information, Life, Office | 1 Comment »

Dress analysis…its really cool

Posted by @ B H i on March 15, 2007

Till now you might have heard that clothes reflect ones personality.Here’s an interesting forward that claims to reveal your personality traits according to the way you undress. So are you a pealer or a teaser?

Well, the way you undress might just help you discover yourself better. Go on and indulge in self-exploration. Throw, dump, remove, just do your own thing…

1. If you throw your clothes all over the place, you’re a friendly, life-of-the-party type. You are free with your thoughts and opinions, not caring much about what others think of you.

Your parents might think your room looks like a cyclone’s hit it? But it actually represents your happy, individualistic nature! Stay that way!

2. If you remove each piece of clothing and put it away carefully, you are a serious person who likes life to be very calm. You are comfortable with routine work. And you believe that the best way to deal with life’s problems is to prevent them in the first place.

You are a perfectionist. By nature you are quite shy. You’re dependable and sometimes intense. You think carefully before making decisions. You go about your tasks methodically, with concentration.

3. If you take off the shirt, and ten minutes later get around to the pants, you are an extremely self-confident person. You are naturally bright and intellectual.

You are also a deep thinker who loves to ask questions and ponder over the meaning of things.

You hate being rushed and you do not like to be hassled. Usually you like a lot of free time for yourself.

4. If you get out of your clothes as quickly as possible, you are concerned about others and what they expect from you, but you’re worried about your own needs.

You are family-oriented, and stay extremely busy.

You often feel stressed, but most of those heavy expectations come from your own head! Give yourself a break, you don’t have to be perfect!

5. If you take off your rings, earrings, necklace, watch, etc before anything else, you are a warm and sensitive person.

You are considerate and thoughtful, and you give good advice to your friends. You are a natural born romantic.

Helping friends or anybody for that matter is your second nature. You hate liars and you would love the world to become a better place.

6. If you don’t have an undressing routine and you never do it the same way twice, you are a very curious and interesting person. You enjoy a broad range of activities. You take risks and enjoy fun and adventure.

The word monotony cannot dampen your spirits at any cost, as you live life kingsize. Having fun is as much a part of your routine as slogging it out at office.

Posted in Analysis, Enjoy Life, Friends, Friends-Fun, Information, Life, NIce Trick, Office | Leave a Comment »