Jokes

Laughter All The Way….

Elephants…Gud one

Posted by @ B H i on December 14, 2006

Q: How do you shoot a blue elephant?
A: With a blue elephant gun, of course.
==

Q: How do you shoot a red elephant?
A: No, not with a red elephant gun. You strangle him until he turns blue,
and then shoot him with a blue elephant gun.
==

Q: How do you shoot a green elephant?
A: Tell him a dirty joke so he turns red, strangle him until he turns blue,
and then shoot him with a blue elephant gun.
==

Q: How do you shoot a pink elephant?
A: Tell him there’s a bigger elephant in town so that he turns green with envy. Then tell him a dirty joke so he turns red, strangle him until he turns blue,and then shoot him with a blue elephant gun.
==

Q: How do you shoot a yellow elephant?
A: Ever seen a yellow elephant?!!!
==

Q: Why do elephants drink so much?
A: To try to forget.
==

Q: Why is an elephant big, grey, and wrinkly?
A: Because, if it was small, white and smooth it would be an Aspirin.
==

Q: Why are elephants wrinkled?
A: Have you ever tried to iron one?
==

Q: Why did the elephant fall out of the tree?
A: Because it was dead.
==

Q: Why did the second elephant fall out of the tree?
A: It was glued to the first one.
==

Q: Why did the third elephant fall out of the tree?
A: It thought it was a game.
==

Q: And why did the tree fall down?
A: It thought it was an elephant.
==

Q: Why did the elephant cross the road?
A: Chicken’s day off.
==

Q: How do you know if you pass an elephant?
A: You can’t get the toilet seat down.
==

Q: How do you get an elephant into a VolksWagon?
A: Open the car door, put the elephant inside, close the door.
==

Q: What is more difficult than getting 2 elephants in the back seat of a VW?
A: Getting a pregnant elephant in the back seat of your car!!
==

Q: What’s more difficult than getting a pregnant elephant in a VW bug?
A: Getting an elephant pregnant in a VW bug.
==

Q: How do you put an elephant into a fridge?
A: Open the VW door, take the elephant out, close the VW door, open
the fridge, put the elephant inside, close the fridge.
==

Q: How do you get 4 elephants into a VW bug?
A: 2 in the front and 2 in the back
==

Q: How do you know if there are 4 elephants in your fridge?
A: There’s a VW bug parked outside it.
==

Q: How do you get 8(!) elephants in a fridge?
A: Put four in a VW, four in another VW, put the two VW’s in the fridge.
A fridge large enough to hold two elephants can surely hold two VW’s!
==

Q: How do you get Tarzan in the fridge?
A: Open door, get two VW’s out, put tarzan in, close door.
==

Q: How do you know Tarzan is in the fridge?
A: you can hear Tarzan scream OYOYOYOIYOIYOOOOOO
==

Q: How do you get two Tarzans in the fridge?
A: You can’t, silly. There is only one Tarzan!
==

Q: Why are there so many elephants running around free in the jungle?
A: The fridge isn’t not large enough to hold them all.
==

Q: How do you know if there is an elephant in the pub?
A: It’s bike is outside.
==

Q: How do you know if there are two elephants in the pub?
A: There is a dent in the cross-bar.
==

Q: How do you know if there are three elephants in the pub?
A: Stand on the bike and have a look in the window.
==

Q: How do you know if there is an elephant under the bed?
A: Your nose is touching the ceiling.
==

Q: Why do elephants wear sandals?
A: So that they don’t sink in the sand.
==

Q: Why do ostriches stick their head in the ground?
A: To look for the elephants who forgot to wear their sandals.
==

Q. What is the difference between an elephant and a blueberries?
A. They’re both blue, except for the elephant.
==

Q: What did Tarzan say when he saw 1,000 elephants coming over the hill?
A: “Look, there’s 1,000 elephants coming over the hill.”
==

Q: What did Jane say?
A: Here come the blueberries. (Jane was color blind)
==

Q: What did Tarzan say when he saw 1,000 elephants with sunglasses on, coming
over the hill?
A: Nothing, he didn’t recognize them.
==

Q: Why shouldn’t you go into the woods at 5 o’clock?
A: Because that is when the elephants practice their parachute jumping.
==

Q: What is a furry alligator?
A: A bear that went into the woods at 5 o’clock.
==

Q: Why are pygmies so short?
A: They can’t tell time.
==

Q: What is that stuff between elephants toes?
A: Watchless natives.
==

Q: What time is it when an elephant sits on your fence?
A: 5 O’clock (trick question – not “Time to get a new fence..)
==

Q: How do you stop an elephant from charging?
A: Take away his credit card.

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