Funny but Honest Definitions
Posted by @ B H i on October 25, 2006
Atom Bomb – An invention made to end all inventions.
Boss – Someone who is early when you are late and late when you are early.
Cigarette – A pinch of tobacco rolled in paper with fire at one end & a fool on the other.
Classic – A book which people praises a lot, but do not read.
College – A place where some pursue learning and others learn pursuing.
Committee – Individuals who can do nothing individually and sit to decide that nothing can be done together.
Compromise – The art of dividing a cake in such a way that everybody believes he got the biggest piece.
Conference – The confusion of one man multiplied by the number present.
Conference Room – A place where everybody talks, nobody listens & everybody disagrees later on.
Criminal – A guy no different from the rest… except that he has got caught.
Dictionary – A place where divorce comes before marriage.
Diplomat – A person who tells you to go to hell in such a way that you actually looks forward to the trip.
Divorce – Future tense of marriage.
Doctor – A person who kills your ills by pills, and kills you with his bills.
Ecstasy – A feeling when you feel you are going to feel a feeling you have never felt before.
Etc. – A sign to make others believe that you know more than you actually do.
Experience – The name men give to their mistakes.
Father – A banker provided by nature.
Lecture – An art of transferring information from the notes of the lecturer to the notes of the students without passing through “the minds of either”.
Love affairs – Something like cricket where one-day internationals are more popular than a five-day test.
Marriage – It’s an agreement in which a man loses his bachelor degree and woman gains her master.
Miser – A person who lives poor so that he can die rich.
Office – A place where you can relax after your strenuous home life.
Optimist – A person who while falling from Eiffel tower says in midway “See I am not injured yet.”
Opportunist – A person who starts taking bath if he accidentally falls into a river.
Pessimist – A person who says that O is the last letter in ZERO, Instead of the first letter in word OPPORTUNITY.
Philosopher – A fool who torments himself during life, to be spoken of when dead.
Politician – One who shakes your hand before elections and your Confidence after.
Smile – A curve that can set a lot of things straight.
Tears – The hydraulic force by which masculine will-power is defeated by feminine waterpower.
Yawn – The only time some married men ever get to open their mouth.