Jokes

Laughter All The Way….

Funny but Honest Definitions

Posted by @ B H i on October 25, 2006

Atom Bomb – An invention made to end all inventions.

Boss – Someone who is early when you are late and late when you are early.

Cigarette – A pinch of tobacco rolled in paper with fire at one end & a fool on the other.

Classic – A book which people praises a lot, but do not read.

College – A place where some pursue learning and others learn pursuing.

Committee – Individuals who can do nothing individually and sit to decide that nothing can be done together.

Compromise – The art of dividing a cake in such a way that everybody believes he got the biggest piece.

Conference – The confusion of one man multiplied by the number present.

Conference Room – A place where everybody talks, nobody listens & everybody disagrees later on.

Criminal – A guy no different from the rest… except that he has got caught.

Dictionary – A place where divorce comes before marriage.

Diplomat – A person who tells you to go to hell in such a way that you actually looks forward to the trip.

Divorce – Future tense of marriage.

Doctor – A person who kills your ills by pills, and kills you with his bills.

Ecstasy – A feeling when you feel you are going to feel a feeling you have never felt before.

Etc. – A sign to make others believe that you know more than you actually do.

Experience – The name men give to their mistakes.

Father – A banker provided by nature.

Lecture – An art of transferring information from the notes of the lecturer to the notes of the students without passing through “the minds of either”.

Love affairs – Something like cricket where one-day internationals are more popular than a five-day test.

Marriage – It’s an agreement in which a man loses his bachelor degree and woman gains her master.

Miser – A person who lives poor so that he can die rich.

Office – A place where you can relax after your strenuous home life.

Optimist – A person who while falling from Eiffel tower says in midway “See I am not injured yet.”

Opportunist – A person who starts taking bath if he accidentally falls into a river.

Pessimist – A person who says that O is the last letter in ZERO, Instead of the first letter in word OPPORTUNITY.

Philosopher – A fool who torments himself during life, to be spoken of when dead.

Politician – One who shakes your hand before elections and your Confidence after.

Smile – A curve that can set a lot of things straight.

Tears – The hydraulic force by which masculine will-power is defeated by feminine waterpower.

Yawn – The only time some married men ever get to open their mouth.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

 
%d bloggers like this: