Money is really hard to earn……..

A for apple…………

This is a very old one you might have already heard………

A for apple.
B for bada apple.
C for chhota apple.
D for dusra apple.
E for ek aur apple.
F for fokat ka apple.
G for gol apple.
> > H for ho gaya na pet kharab khake itne apple

Now check out the rest of the alphabets compiled by me just for you

I for isse kehete hai apple,
J for jaisa bhi ho, hai to apple,
K for koi bhi kha sakta hai apple,
L for lo khahi lo ek apple,
M for mujhe acha lagta hai apple,
N for na kabhi na kehena khane ko apple
O for oh! yeh apple —–
P for peth bhar khaao apple
Q for qismat mein nahi hoti hai sabke, yeh apple
R for roz agar khaao tum apple
S for sehetmand rahoge khaaogey agar tum apple
T for tumko nahi milengey itney achey apple
U for udhaar kii nahi hai yeh apple
V for very tasy hai yeh apple
W for waste na karo time aur khaalo jaldi se apple
X for xmas main bhi apple
Y for youn na chehra phero dekhkey apple
Z for zaraasa aur khaalo aaple aur…

CHALO AB KAAM PE LAGJAAO

Facts

• The queen of England does not have the right to vote in any British election.
• The queen of England has two birthdays.
• The Queen termite can live up to 50 years and have 30,000 children every day.
• The raised reflective dots in the middle of highways are called Botts
• The rapid rate of expansion of gas is what gives steam its power. One volume of water, at normal atmospheric pressure and at the boiling point, yields 1,670 volume of steam.
• The reason firehouses have circular stairways is from the days of yore when the engines were pulled by horses. The horses were stabled on the ground floor and figured out how to walk up straight staircases.
• The reason most mosquito bites itch is because mosquitoes inject saliva into the persons skin before they suck your blood. They take it out once they are done, but if they are forced to fly away, they don’t get a chance to draw the saliva out. And it is their saliva that causes the itch.
• The reason why the very beginning of The Wizard of Oz is black and white, is because color was not available at that point. When color was available, the writers decided to start using it in Munchkinland.
• The record for the biggest one day rainfall was set on Reunion Island in the Indian Ocean, on March 15, 1952, where 74 inches of rain fell in 24 hours.
• The record for the most weddings is held by King Mogul of Siam, who had 9000 weddings and 9000 wives.
• The red capes used to taunt bulls in bullfights is the same shade of red as the bull’s blood. That way you can’t tell it is covered with the bull’s blood by the end of the fight. Fight spectators like bullfighting, but not blood.`
• The red kangaroo of Australia can jump 27 feet in one bound.
• The red sea is not red.
• The red spot on the 7up cans comes from it’s inventor. He was an albino (albinos have red eyes).
• The regular garden variety caterpillar has 248 muscles in its head.
• The Republic of Israel was established April 23, 1948.
• The revolving door was invented August 7, 1888, by Theophilus Van Kannel, of Philadelphia, Pennsylvania.
• The Ribbon worm will start eating itself to avoid starvation
• The ridges on the sides of coins are called reeding or milling.
• The right lung is slightly larger than the left
• The right side of a boat was called the starboard side due to the fact that the astronavigators used to stand out on the plank (which was on the right side) to get an unobstructed view of the stars. The left side was called the port side because that was the side that you put in on at the port.
• The river Danube empties into the Black Sea.
• The rose family of plants, in addition to flowers, gives us apples, pears, plums, cherries, almonds, peaches and apricots.
• The rosy periwinkle plant, found in Madagascar, is used to cure leukemia.
• The rumble that is created when a Harley’s engine runs has been patented by the company
• The Russian Imperial Necklace has been loaned out by Joseff jewelers of Hollywood for 1,215 different feature films.
• The S in Harry S Truman stands for nothing.
• The safety pin was patented in 1849 by Walter Hunt. He sold the patent rights for $400.
• The Sahara Desert expands at a rate of about 1 km each month.
• The Sahara desert is larger as Europe and large then the combined areas of next largest 9 deserts.
• The Sahara Desert is over twice as big as the second largest desert in the world, The Australian Desert. The Sahara is 3.5 million square miles compared to the 1.47 million square miles of the Australian. This is “true” in the generic sense of the Autralian Desert. There is no Australian Desert. It is divided into many different deserts. What would be true would be to say the Sahara is bigger than the desert space in Australia (which is A LOT not sure how much as a percentage of the total land mass of australia).
• The sailfish can swim faster than a horse can gallop.
• The saluki is the oldest known breed of domesticated dog. Carvings of animals resembling the saluki have been found in excavations of the Sumerian Empire. They are believed to have originated from between 6,000 and 7,000 B.C.
• The salute of uniform bodies (eg. army, police) originated from knights who lifted their visors to show their face to a royalty.
• The same material that is used to make bulletproof glass is also used in Tupperware’s Rock ‘n Serve containers. The container, however, is not entirely bulletproof. Due to the lifetime warrantee on Tupperware products, the company will replace it for FREE! (Just in case you’re in quick need of a shield and a Rock ‘n Serve is the only thing handy)
• The San Diego Zoo in California has the largest collection of animals in the world.
• The sandwich is named for the Fourth Earl of Sandwich (1718-92), for whom sandwiches were made so that he could stay at the gambling table without interruptions for meals.
• The Santa Maria was the only one of Columbus’s ships not to return to Spain. It hit a reef on December 5, 1492 and sank.
• The saying ‘once in a blue moon ‘ refers to the occurrence of two full moons during one calendar month. The last two occurred in January & March 1999. The next one isn’t until the end of 2001.
• The science-fiction series “Lost in Space” (set in the year 1997) premiered on CBS in 1965.
• The sea contains about 1/2 of the world’s known animal groups
• The Sea of tranquility is found on the moon.
• The SEALs have been deployed in Vietnam, Laos, Panama, Bosnia, Haiti, Somalia, and Colombia.
• The search engine “Lycos” is named for Lycosidae, the Latin name for the wolf spider family. Unlike other spiders that sit passively in their web, wolf spiders are hunters, actively stalking their prey.
• The secretary-bird swallow hen’s egg whole without breaking its shell.
• The sentence “The quick brown fox jumps over a lazy dog.” uses every letter of the alphabet!

Nice Arzi in Punjabi

To

The Chairman,
Software Firm,

Bangalore

Sir ji,

Binti eh hai ki aj kal company vich dil nahi lagda te raat nu neend nahi andi kyonki company vich munde bore ne, jo hai oh sab eniyan ajeeb ne ki dekhan nu ji ni karda.Te manageran v koih khas ptaka nahi haan. Hor ni koch taan munde hi sohne rakh lavo taa ki nave joinees kaam leyyee motivate ho sakan .

Aap ji da bahut dhanayawda howanga.

Your faithfully,

Kudi Association

“MUST READ” May I know the time please?!

May I know the time please?!

Young Man: Sir, may I know the time, please?

Old Man: Certainly not.

Young Man: Sir, but why? What are you going to loose,
if you tell me the time?

Old Man: Yes, I may loose something if I tell you the
time.

Young Man: But Sir, can you tell me how?

Old Man : See, if I tell you the time you will
definitely thank me and may be tomorrow again you will
ask me the time.

Young Man:
Quite possible.

Old Man: May be we meet two three times more and you
will ask my name and address.

Young Man: Quite possible.

Old Man: One day you may come to my house saying you
were just passing by and came into wish me.
Then as a courtsey, I will offer you a cup of tea.
After my courteous approach you will try to come
again.
This time you will appreciate tea and ask who has made
it.?

Young Man: Possible

Old Man: made itThen I will tell you that my daughter
has and I will then
have to introduce my young and
pretty daughter to you &; you will admire my daughter.

Young Man: Smiles.

Old Man: Now onwards you will try to meet my daughter

again and again. You will offer her to go out for a
movie together and a date with you.

Young Man: Smiles

Old Man: My daughter may start liking you and start

waiting for you. After meeting regularly you will fall
in love with her and propose her for marriage.

Young Man: Smiles

Old Man: One day both of you will come to me and
tell
me about your love and ask for my permission.

Young Man: Oh Yes! and smiles

Old Man: (Angrily) Young man, I will never marry my
Daughter to a person like you who does not even own a
Watch

Employee Resignation

Poetic Resignation
The name is good, the brand is big
But the work I do is that of a pig
The work or the brand; what is my way?
I don’t know if I should stay.
To work, they have set their own way
Nobody will care to hear what I say
My will be NULL, they wont change their way
I don’t know if I should stay.
The project is in a critical stage
But to do good work, this is the age
This dilemma is killing me day by day
I don’t know if I should stay.
The money is good, the place is great
But the development is at a very small rate
Should I go for the work, or wait for pay
I don’t know if I should stay!
The managers don’t know what they talk
The team doesn’t know where they walk
That’s a bad situation, what say?
I don’t know if I should stay.
I can go to any other place
But what if I get the same disgrace
I can’t keep switching day by day
I don’t know if I should stay.
The -ves are more, the +ves are less
Then why have this unnecessary mess
No more will I walk their way,
It’s all done, I won’t stay.
Thanks & Regards
Employee
Manager Response
Reply: What I want to say?

(Manager)

The decision is good or decision is bad
Only God knows still I am glad
Keep moving in life that is what I can say
If you feel right go in the same way
May god give you the work, the challenge you want
Anyway there is always a second chance
Chances are there, grab them snatch them
That is what I can say
Keep on jumping companies to get more and more and more….
That will keep you always a fore (Even to me)
>From my experience I can tell you
Being in software development is like taking hell out of you
You are frustrated since you have no quality work
And you were frustrated because you had quantity work
It’s always like that previous job was better than the current one
And expects the new job will be much better than this one
But what you get is a frustration level up to sun
Than you will again send the resignation like this one
This is all what I want to say
Have you completed all the formalities?
Filled the form and got it signed from department humanities (HR)
Once done you can take all your cash
But don’t refer others as they will follow you’re a*s.
At last I appreciate your contribution to the company
Even though there was not any….
You will keep a copy of this with you for FYI
Don’t feel shy
As I also got it some time back from my old manger say Hi….
That is all what I want to say.
Thanks & Regards
Manager

Tunnel : Software Programmer & Project Manager

A young Programmer and his Project Manager board a train headed through
the mountains on its way to Wichita. They can find no place to sit
except for two seats right across the aisle from a young woman and her
grandmother. After a while, it is obvious that the young woman and the
young programmer are interested in each other, because they are giving
each other looks. Soon the train passes into a tunnel and it is pitch
black. There is a sound of a kiss followed by the sound of a slap.

When the train emerges from the tunnel, the four sit there without
saying a word. The grandmother is thinking to herself, “It was very
brash for that young man to kiss my granddaughter, but I’m glad she
slapped him.”

The Project manager is sitting there thinking, “I didn’t know the young
tech was brave enough to kiss the girl, but I sure wish she hadn’t
missed him when she slapped me!”

The young woman was sitting and thinking, “I’m glad the guy kissed me,
but I wish my grandmother had not slapped him!”

The young programmer sat there with a satisfied smile on his face. He
thought to himself, “Life is good. How often does a guy have the chance
to kiss a beautiful girl and slap his Project manager all at the same
time!”

I know what Ur doing after lunch Break !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ; -)

Boys are boys :Good One

> Ek Bus main Ladke aur Ladkiyon ki team bani , Antakshari khelane ke

> liye

>

> Girls : Hum tumko hara ke dikhayenge

>

> Any Guesses for BOYS response

>

> socho socho………………

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> Are bhai boys are boys……………..       >

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> Boys: Hum Har gaye , Chalo aab dikhao… !

Jappier’s Spoken English

In Tamilnadu, there is a well known person by name, Mr. Jeppier ,
Chairman of Sathyabama deemed university and some more self financing
colleges, always speaks in English. Thatcollege s tudents have
collected & published a book by name “Jappier’s Spoken English”
…. Njoy ………..with his…………..English…………..

Now, here are some classic English sentences from the great
“Jappier’s Spoken English”

# At the ground:
—————–
All of you stand in a straight circle.  (Straigh circle)
There is no wind in the balloon.     (ballon without air…fushhh)
The girl with the mirror please comes her…{Means: girl with specs
please come here).

# To a boy, angrily:
———————
I talk, he talk, why you middle middle talk?

# While punishing students:
———————–
You, rotate the ground four times…
You, go and understand the tree…
You three of you stand together separately.
Why are you late - say YES or NO …..(?)
# Sir at his best:
—————
Sir had once gone to a film with his wife. By chance, he happened to
see one of our boys at the theatre, though the boy did no t see them.
So the next day at s school… (to that boy) - “Yesterday I saw you
WITH MY WIFE at the Cinema Theatre”

# Sir at his best inside the Class room:
———————————————-
Open the doors of the window. Let the atmosphere come in.
Open the doors of the window. Let the Air Force come in.
Cut an apple into two halves - I will take the bigger half.
Shhh…Quiet, boys…the principal JUST PASSED AWAY in the corridor
You, meet me behind the class. (Meaning AFTER the class..)
This one is cool >> “Both of u three get out of the class.”
Close the doors of the windows please. I have winter in my nose today…
Take Copper Wire of any metal especially of Silver…..
Take 5 cm wire of any length….

Last but not the least some Jeppiar experiences …

Once Sir had come late to a college function, by the time he reached,
the function had begun, so he went to the dais, and said, sorry I am
late, because on the way my car hit 2 muttons (Meaning goats).

At Sathyabama college day 2002:

“This college strict u the worry no …. U get good marks, I the
happy, tomorrow u get good job, jpr the happy, tomorrow u marry I the
enjoy”

At St. Josephs college of engineering fresh years day 2003:

“No ragging this college. Anybody rag we arrest the police “