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1st Kiss (Pretty Funny)

Posted by @ B H i on June 3, 2007

A girl asks her boyfriend to come over Friday night and have dinner
with her parents. Since this is such a big event, the girl announces to
her boyfriend that after dinner, she would like to go out and make love
for the first time.

* * * * * * * * *

Well, the boy is ecstatic, but he has never had sex before, so he takes
a trip to the pharmacist to get some condoms. He tells the pharmacist
it’s his first time and the pharmacist helps the boy for about an hour.

He tells the boy everything there is to know about condoms and sex.

* * * * * * * * *

At the register, the pharmacist asks the boy how many condoms he’d like
to buy, a 3-pack, 10-pack, or family pack. The boy insists on the
family pack because he thinks he will be rather busy, it being his
first
time and all.

* * * * * * * * *

That night, the boy shows up at the girl’s parents house and meets his
girlfriend at the door. “Oh, I’m so excited for you to meet my parents,
come on in!”

* * * * * * * * *

The boy goes inside and is taken to the dinner table where the girl’s
parents are seated. The boy quickly offers to say grace and bows his
head.

* * * * * * * * *

A minute passes, and the boy is still deep in prayer, with his head
down.

* * * * * * * * *

10 minutes pass, and still no movement from the boy.

* * * * * * * * *

Finally, after 20 minutes with his head down, the girlfriend leans over
and whispers to the
boyfriend, “I had no idea you were this religious.”

* * * * * * * *

The boy turns, and whispers back, “I had no idea your father was a
pharmacist.”

Posted in Enjoy Life, Friends, Friends-Fun, Funny, Humor, Jokes, Love | 18 Comments »

Money is really hard to earn……..

Posted by @ B H i on May 20, 2007

Posted in Enjoy Life, Friends, Friends-Fun, Funny, Humor, Jokes, Life, NIce Trick, Office | 1 Comment »

Good Morning…..

Posted by @ B H i on May 20, 2007

Friendship is like the relation between hands and eyes.
When the hand gets hurt, the eye cries, and when the eye cries the hand wipes its tears.
Be careful when you do something…
U never know when it hurts someone with a broken heart…
Everyone hears what you say…
Friends listen to what you say….
But Best friends listen to what you don’t say ..

Posted in Enjoy Life, Friends, Friends-Fun, Funny, Humor, Indian, Life | 5 Comments »

A for apple…………

Posted by @ B H i on May 20, 2007

This is a very old one you might have already heard………

A for apple.
B for bada apple.
C for chhota apple.
D for dusra apple.
E for ek aur apple.
F for fokat ka apple.
G for gol apple.
> > H for ho gaya na pet kharab khake itne apple

Now check out the rest of the alphabets compiled by me just for you

I for isse kehete hai apple,
J for jaisa bhi ho, hai to apple,
K for koi bhi kha sakta hai apple,
L for lo khahi lo ek apple,
M for mujhe acha lagta hai apple,
N for na kabhi na kehena khane ko apple
O for oh! yeh apple —–
P for peth bhar khaao apple
Q for qismat mein nahi hoti hai sabke, yeh apple
R for roz agar khaao tum apple
S for sehetmand rahoge khaaogey agar tum apple
T for tumko nahi milengey itney achey apple
U for udhaar kii nahi hai yeh apple
V for very tasy hai yeh apple
W for waste na karo time aur khaalo jaldi se apple
X for xmas main bhi apple
Y for youn na chehra phero dekhkey apple
Z for zaraasa aur khaalo aaple aur…

CHALO AB KAAM PE LAGJAAO

Posted in Friends, Friends-Fun, Funny, Humor, Information, Jokes, Life, NIce Trick, Office | 4 Comments »

Nice Arzi in Punjabi

Posted by @ B H i on May 20, 2007

To

The Chairman,
Software Firm,

Bangalore

Sir ji,

Binti eh hai ki aj kal company vich dil nahi lagda te raat nu neend nahi andi kyonki company vich munde bore ne, jo hai oh sab eniyan ajeeb ne ki dekhan nu ji ni karda.Te manageran v koih khas ptaka nahi haan. Hor ni koch taan munde hi sohne rakh lavo taa ki nave joinees kaam leyyee motivate ho sakan .

Aap ji da bahut dhanayawda howanga.

Your faithfully,

Kudi Association

Posted in Friends, Funny, Girls, Humor, Indian, Office, Sadar | Leave a Comment »

President BUSH

Posted by @ B H i on May 10, 2007

Once president BUSH went to a school. After have a brief talk with the children he asked them if they had any questions to ask him.

One boy raised his hand and stood up.
Bush: what’s your name?
John: john
Bush: what’s your question?
John: sir I have three questions
1) Why did America attack Iraq without the approval of UNO?
2) Where is Osama?
3) Why do America support Pakistan so much?

Bush: you are an intelligent student john… (Just then the bell for recess rang).
Oh dear students we will continue after the recess is over.
After the recess
Bush: ok children where were we? Yes, so anybody wants to ask any question?
Peter raises his hand
Bush: What’s your name?
Peter: sir I have 5 questions.
1) Why did America attack Iraq without the approval of UNO?
2) Where is Osama?
3) Why do America support Pakistan so much?
4) Why did recess bell rang 20 mins before the scheduled time?
5) Where is JOHN?

Posted in Analysis, Friends, Friends-Fun, Funny, Humor, Jokes | 1 Comment »

How Dare you….

Posted by @ B H i on May 10, 2007

One day , at a bus stop there was a girl who was wearing a skin tight miniskirt.
When the bus arrived and it was her turn to get on, she realized that her skirt was so tight she couldn’t get her foot high enough to reach to step.

Thinking it would give her enough slack to raise her leg, she reached back and unzipped her skirt a little.
She still could not reach the step.

Embarrassed, she reached back once again to unzip it a little more.
Still, she couldn’t reach the step.

So, with her skirt zipper halfway down, she reached back and unzipped her skirt all the way. Thinking that she could get on the step now, she lifted up her leg only to realize that she still couldn’t reach the step.

So, seeing how embarrassed the girl was, the man standing behind her put his hands around her waist and lifted her up on to the first step of the bus.

The girl turned around furiously and said, “How dare you touch my body that way, I don’t even know you!”
Shocked, the man says, “Well, ma’am, after you reached around and unzipped my pants three times, I thought that we were friends.”

Posted in Awesome, Enjoy Life, Friends, Friends-Fun, Funny, Girls, Humor | 9 Comments »

Good one …..

Posted by @ B H i on April 14, 2007

A lady approaches a priest and tells him, “Father, I have a problem. I have these two talking female parrots, but they only know how to say one thing. They keep saying “Hi, we’re hot. Do you want a date?”

“That’s terrible!” the priest exclaimed. “But I do have a solution to your problem. Bring your two parrots over to my house and I will put them with my two male talking parrots to whom I have taught to pray and read the bible.

My parrots will then teach your parrots to stop saying that terrible phrase, and your female parrots will learn to pray and worship.”

So the next day, the lady brings her female parrots to the priest’s house.

The priest’s two male parrots are holding rosary beads and praying in their cage. The lady puts her female talking parrots in with the male talking Parrots, and the female parrots say, “Hi, we’re hot. Do you want a date?”

One male parrot looks over at the other male parrot and screams, “Put your Bible away Idiot, our prayers have been answered!!!!!!!”

Posted in Analysis, Friends, Friends-Fun, Funny, Girls, Humor, Jokes, NIce Trick | 2 Comments »

Funny Abbrevation

Posted by @ B H i on April 14, 2007

JEE – Jehadic Entrance Examination

IIT – Islamic Institute of Terrorism

IIM – Institute of Infiltration Management

CAT – Career in Alqaida & Taliban

IAS – Iraq after Saddam

M Tech – Masters in Terror Technology

GATE – General Aptitude in Terror and Extremism

TOEFL – Test of Extremist Foreign Languages

GRE – Graduate in Relocation Extremism

MBBS – Master of Bomb Blasting Strategies

MBA – Master of Bombing Administration

Posted in Analysis, Enjoy Life, Friends, Friends-Fun, Funny, Humor, Indian, Information, Jokes, Life, NIce Trick | 7 Comments »

This is How INDIAN farmers are…….Very Clever… :)

Posted by @ B H i on April 14, 2007

A big city lawyer went duck hunting in rural area. He shot and dropped a bird, but it fell into a farmer’s field on the other side of a fence.
As the lawyer climbed over the fence, an elderly farmer drove up on his tractor and asked the lawyer what he was doing.
The lawyer responded, “I shot a duck and it fell into this field, and now I’m going to retrieve it.”
The old farmer replied. “This is my property, and your not coming over here.”
The indignant lawyer replied. “I’m one of the best trial lawyers in the city, and if you don’t let me get that duck, I’ll sue you and take everything that you own.
The old farmer smiled and said, “Apparently, you don’t know how we do things in Villages. We settle small disagreements like this, with the Three Kick Rule.”
The lawyer asked, “What is the Three Kick Rule?”
The farmer replied, “Well, first I kick you three times and then you kick me three times, and so on, back and forth until someone gives up.”
The Lawyer agreed to abide by the local custom.
The old farmer slowly gets down from the tractor and walked up to the Lawyer. His first kick planted the toe of his heavy work boot into the lawyer’s groin, which dropped him to his knees.
His second kick nearly ripped the nose off his face.
The lawyer was flat on his belly, when the farmer’s third kick to a kidney nearly causing him to give up, but didn’t.
The lawyer summoned every bit of his will and managed to get to his feet and said, “Okay, you old tossed, now it’s my turn.”
The old farmer smiled and said,
“Now, I give up, You can keep the duck!”

Posted in Friends, Friends-Fun, Funny, Humor, Indian, Information, Jokes | Leave a Comment »

 
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