Jokes

Laughter All The Way….

Some Good Old Sayings

Posted by @ B H i on March 16, 2007

Really Nice…..

* There are some things that money can’t buy. For everything else, my salary isn’t sufficient!!
* I try to go the extra mile at work, but my boss always finds me and brings me back.
* They can’t fire me, slaves have to be sold.
* Home is where the television is.
* Before borrowing money from a friend, decide which you need more.
* Death is hereditary.
* Many things can be preserved in alcohol. Dignity is not one of them.
* Never argue with a fool. People might not know the difference.
* When you’re right, no one remembers. When you’re wrong, no one forgets.
* Experience is what a comb gives you after you lose your hair.
* Well done is better than well said.
* Everyone makes mistakes. The trick is to make them when nobody is looking.
* Always borrow money from a pessimist. He won’t expect it back.
* You’re not drunk if you can lie on the floor without holding on.
* I like work. It fascinates me. I can sit and look at it for hours.
* If you can’t see the bright side of life, polish the dull side.
* Pessimist: A person that looks both ways when crossing a one way street.
* The light at the end of the tunnel is the headlamp of an approaching train.
* Where there’s a will there are five hundred relatives.
* I have a drinking problem - I can’t afford it.
* Everyone should have a spouse, because there are a number of things that go
Wrong that one can’t blame on the government.
* There are three sides to every argument: your side, my side and the right side.
* An expert is someone who takes a subject you understand and makes it sound
Confusing.

And finally

* Everybody wants to go to heaven, but nobody wants to die.

121 Responses to “Some Good Old Sayings”

  1. George Says:

    he who fears losing has a
    already lost

  2. Lubalie Says:

    “Best Friends are like peeing in your pants, everyone can see it but only you can feel it!”

  3. Brandon Says:

    when the power of love overcomes the love of power our world will be perfect

  4. Tegan Says:

    A world without hugs, is no place to be

  5. alesha Says:

    home sweet home that is were this T.V is!!!!!!

  6. yasmin Says:

    two wrongs to make a right!!!

  7. yasmin Says:

    forgive and forget

  8. Ty Says:

    When you find yourself in a hole stop digging

  9. monique Says:

    dont let the fear of strinking out keep you from playing the game

  10. bmko Says:

    shit happends, get used to it, get over it, its happend already you just havent noticed it

  11. SUGARBITE Says:

    FEEL THE FEAR AND DO IT ANYWAY

  12. paul Says:

    Friends are like butt cheeks shit comes between them but they always stick together

  13. lizzy Says:

    “You can only be young once, but you can always act immature.”

  14. lizzy Says:

    “Build a bridge and get over it.”

  15. Vikram Nanjappa Says:

    Bird in hab=nd better than two in the Bush……!

  16. Vikram Nanjappa Says:

    Bird in hand better than two in the Bush…!

  17. Vikram Nanjappa Says:

    Tommorrow’s life is too late,Live today——-!

  18. Tasoulii Ishii Says:

    He who is Blind, Judges best. For he who can not see, cannot judge a book by its cover

  19. john garvey Says:

    its nice too be nice because thats nice

  20. Gerrard Lee Says:

    an idle brain is a devil’s workshop

  21. Gerrard Lee Says:

    he who dares, wins

  22. Gerrard Lee Says:

    if you can’t be good, be careful

  23. Gerrard Lee Says:

    a good start is half the battle

  24. Gerrard Lee Says:

    think your mind, but mind what you think

  25. marcel Says:

    Everybody wants to go to heaven but nobody wants to die>

  26. marcel Says:

    They say alittle hard work wont hurt,but why take the risk

  27. Ashley Says:

    **! When The Shit Hits The Fan..Make Sure Your Not In Front Of It !**

  28. Ashley Says:

    People who tell you to kiss their ass are ashamed of their face !

  29. Lauza Says:

    If friends were like flowers, i would pick u!

  30. collin Says:

    show me one person who has not yet realized his potential …n i will show you a million more!!!!

  31. lakshmi Says:

    A man becomes ideal when he compromises some best parts of his life

  32. correna Says:

    Never trust a skiney cook

  33. Montana Says:

    do something right-nobody remembers
    do something wrong-nobody forgets

  34. Montana Says:

    we don’t stop playing because we grow old.
    we grow old because we stop playing

  35. Jessica Says:

    Always do what you said you would do drunk…that will teach you to keep your mouth shut!

  36. Kyell Says:

    To Conquer the world of Immagination, You Must first Have one

  37. Kyell Says:

    To Conquer the world of Immagination, You Must first Have one

  38. Kyell Says:

    Your Gut feeling is the one person that is always Right.

  39. Kyell Says:

    One Who Says No nervously, Always Means Yes

  40. Kyell Says:

    Live hard, Die Strong. Have a Brave heart when your living beacause When your dead you wont have one.

  41. Kyell Says:

    Andrenalin is box of candy, They both are gone befor you get home to share.

  42. Kyell Says:

    Sharing means hating. So have fun kids, dont be to late and remember to share the boat….One Boy comes home at 7:00 pm, His mother asks weres your sister? He replies ” Well you told me to share ” The mother looks confused so the boy says exactly what he shared. HE said Well mom ” After I got the Boat I remembered that there wasn’t much gaz left but Sally was already gone…So I came Home and your right mom sharing was Fun… I dont have a sister anymore… Ohhh um did I memtion the There was a hole in the boat? Whats FOr Dinner ????

  43. Kyell Says:

    Some things are only good once others a million. A Good memorie never lasts but a bad memorie does forever. Be Nice or your’ll never forget it!

  44. Kyell Says:

    The Best present of all is Love.Give a friend a present everyday give them a hug.

  45. Kyell Says:

    Love lasts forever. Hatred Lasts Forever thats why you can never hate anyone.

  46. Kyell Says:

    All these sayings From a 12 year old Kid!

  47. Autumn Says:

    One Who chases 2 rabbits will lose both of them

  48. Autumn Says:

    He who laughs last didn;t get the joke right away

  49. Autumn Says:

    You either gotta laugh or cry I’d rather Laugh. So how come when you laugh too hard you end up crying?

  50. Kyell Says:

    What goes up to your Front door byt never comes in, A Sidewalk

  51. Jokesta Says:

    What Pill has its Own Language………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………Viagra… Dont you watch T.V

  52. Kyell Says:

    Enviroment Has many Meanings until you explore them all You wont Know what it means.

  53. Kyell Says:

    Take a Strike at Humanity for it shaking the face of this earth.

  54. Roy Says:

    If Its to be, Its up to me!

  55. Kyell Says:

    Two Wrongs Dont make a right !

  56. Kyell Says:

    The Crocodiles Shoe is only as big as you imagine it.

  57. Kyell Says:

    Charma: What goes around Come around…Dont you ever Forget that!

  58. Kyell Says:

    Destroy your enemy by making him your friend. - Abraham Lincoln (1809-1865)

  59. Kyell Says:

    Repay evil with kindness.

  60. Kyell Says:

    (Do not) Rob Peter to pay Paul. - John Heywood (c.1497-1580) This means: A wasteful or pointless activity, namely taking away something in order to put it back.

  61. Kyell Says:

    A beautiful thing is never perfect. -

  62. Kyell Says:

    A cat in gloves catches no mice.

  63. Kyell Says:

    Knowledge is more than equivalent to force.

  64. Kyell Says:

    Knowledge is power.

  65. Kyell Says:

    Theres No Fun in the past, But Past In the fun.

  66. Kyell Says:

    The day has eyes; the night has ears.

  67. Kyell Says:

    Gravity between Worlds is something we all need

  68. charlie ramsden Says:

    in the book of life… the anwers arent always in the back

  69. Sportyemz Says:

    just cuz ur on a diet doesn’t mean u can’t look at the menu :]

  70. apiraa Says:

    If you fail to plan you fail to plan!

  71. apiraa Says:

    mi bad if you fail to plan you plan to fail!

    -Sorry about the previous one :(

  72. Akhirah Says:

    Never TRUST A DOCTER WHOS OFFICE PLANTS ARE DEAD

  73. Akhirah Says:

    Always eat youre vegetables just leave out the green bits

  74. Akhirah Age 12 Says:

    Dont walk behind me because i might not follow dont walk ahead because i might not lead walk beside me share my journey

  75. VMK_Rayleen Says:

    There are big ships and small ships, but the best ship is friendship :)

  76. Akhirah Age 12 Says:

    Don’t talk shit if u don’t no shit

  77. Andrew Varendorff Says:

    A nod is as good as a wink to a blind bat

  78. sudeeeeeeeeeeeeeee Says:

    book always burns as stories take its turn to leave behind a broken man………….thats how life is

  79. Bray Says:

    Its nice to be important but its more important to be nice

  80. phantom Says:

    When I die, I want to go peacefully like my Grandfather did, in his sleep — not screaming, like the passengers in his car.

  81. phantom Says:

    Practice makes perfect… but if nobody’s perfect, why practice?

  82. phantom Says:

    A computer once beat me at chess, but it was no match for me at kick boxing.

  83. Kiley Says:

    Life is like a tredmill,

    no matter how fast you go

    no matter how hard you try

    you may never get anywhere

  84. Molly Says:

    He who laughs last, thinks the slowest!

  85. Cameron Says:

    Rats get Fat while good men starve, SKATE OR DEEEEE

  86. jim Dean Says:

    As the great Cameron Markey jones black once said, I would hate myself already but my dad hits me

  87. Joey Marx aka Jaehow Says:

    Brakes is for pussys

  88. alvin a Says:

    My dad hits me and says that if i dont eat that Stussy stussy stussy will come into my house and eat me spitting out a hypebeast that knows chris brown johanson

  89. Mystery Man Says:

    Tabemasho ekimashita O Nomemasu Ken toe emi san Wa

  90. Hey man Says:

    Hey i would say hey but i get hit enough already

  91. Keith Davis Says:

    Death looks upon us everyday and smiles, and the only thing we can do is smile back.

  92. ben dixon Says:

    you cant make fish of one and flesh of the other

  93. ben dixon Says:

    “For everything you have missed, you have gained something else, and for everything you gain, you lose something else.”

  94. teliah buckton Says:

    friends are like bumb cheeks shit may seperate them but they always come back together in the end

  95. ishi Says:

    moving on is easy its just what you leave behind thats so hard

  96. jack_H 09 Says:

    50% of something is better than 100% of nothing.

    The nail that sticks out gets hammered.

  97. lindz Says:

    my friends are the ones that if a house is burning down they would roast marshmellows and flirt with the firemen

    anndd….

    to all your best friends:
    u cry i cry
    u laugh i laugh
    u jump off a bridge i get a paddle and a boat and go save ur dumb ass!

  98. lindz Says:

    gravity is a myth, the world just sux

  99. POLAT Says:

    he gave her 12 roses, 11 real and 1 fake and said ill love u untill the last one dies

  100. POLAT Says:

    Great dreams… never even get out of the box. It takes an uncommon amount of guts to put your dreams on the line, to hold them up and say, “How good or how bad am I?” That’s where courage comes in.”

  101. Matt Says:

    An Expert At Something, Was Once A Beginner.

  102. Qudsia Says:

    Absence sharpens love, presence strengthens it.

  103. Qudsia Says:

    Forget past mistakes. Forget failures. Forget everything except what you’re going to do now and do it.

  104. Qudsia Says:

    forget any insults u recieve, remember the compliments.

  105. Qudsia Says:

    DO SOMETHING THAT SCARES YOU EVERYDAY!

  106. Qudsia Says:

    Heaven lies at the feet of your mother.

  107. Qudsia Says:

    If you are humble, nothing will touch you, neither praise nor disgrace, because you know what you are.

  108. Qudsia Says:

    Be thankful for what you have; you’ll end up having more. If you concentrate on what you don’t have, you will never, ever have enough.

  109. Qudsia Says:

    Live life like everyday is your last.

  110. GarfieldtheRandom Says:

    Love is Friendship put on fire x x x

  111. GarfieldtheRandom Says:

    A true friend wont stab you in the back but aware incase they stab in the front.

  112. GarfieldtheRandom Says:

    Men,
    Choose in marriage a woman whom you would be-friend if she was a man

  113. GarfieldtheRandom Says:

    Advice is what we ask for if we know the answer but wish we did’nt
    x
    x
    x

  114. Oldanerd Says:

    When you dont like house live on EBAY

  115. Oldanerd Says:

    You are the fridge and i am the magnet who will always stick with you

  116. Oldanerd Says:

    The day that Wikipedia tells the truth I will switch you from anemy to friend

  117. Oldanerd Says:

    Laugh at yourself and at life. Not in the spirit of derision or whining self-pity, but as a remedy, a miracle drug, that will ease your pain, cure your depression, and help you to put in perspective that seemingly terrible defeat and worry with laughter at your predicaments, thus freeing your mind to think clearly toward the solution that is certain to come. Never take yourself too seriously.

  118. GarfieldtheRandom Says:

    May we never let the things we can’t have, or don’t have, or shouldn’t have, spoil our enjoyment of the things we do have and can have. As we value our happiness, let us not forget it, for one of the greatest lessons in life is learning to be happy without the things we cannot or should not have.

  119. GarfieldtheRandom Says:

    Some people come into our lives and quickly go. Others stay awhile, make footprints on our hearts and we are never, ever the same.

  120. GarfieldtheRandom Says:

    Friends will abandon you in times of disgrace, but enemies will follow you to your death.

  121. E-yiah Says:

    dont fall for someone unless they are willing to catch you

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