Nice thoughts…..

There are some things that money can’t buy. For everything else,

my salary isn’t sufficient!!

I try to go the extra mile at work, but my boss always finds me

and brings me back.

They can’t fire me, slaves have to be

sold.

Before borrowing money from a friend, decide which you need

more.

Many things can be preserved in alcohol. Dignity is not one of

them.

Never argue with a fool. People might not know the

difference.

When you’re right, no one remembers. When you’re wrong, no one

forgets.

Experience is the comb you get after you start losing your

hair.

well done is

better than well said.

Everyone makes

mistakes. The trick is to make them when nobody is looking.

You’re not

drunk if you can lie on the floor without holding on.

If you can’t see the bright side of life,

polish the dull side.

Where there’s a

will there are five hundred relatives.

I have a drinking problem – I can’t afford it.

Everyone should

have a spouse, because there are a number of things that go wrong that one

can’t blame on the government.

There are three

sides to every argument: your side, my side and the right side.

An expert is

someone who takes a subject you understand and makes it  sound

confusing.