Jokes

Laughter All The Way….

For all newly married couples…

Posted by @ B H i on October 10, 2006

A couple had only been married for two weeks. The husband, although very much in love, couldn’t wait to go out on the town and party with his old buddies. So, he said to his new wife, “Honey, I’ll be right back.”

Where are you going, Coochy Coo?” asked the wife.

“I’m going to the bar, Pretty Face. I’m going to have a beer.”

The wife said, “You want a beer, my love?” She opened the door to the refrigerator and showed him 25 different kinds of beer, brands from 12 different countries: Germany, Holland, Japan, India, etc.

The husband didn’t know what to do, and the only thing that he could think of saying was, “Yes, Lollipop… but at the bar… you know… they have frozen glasses… “

He didn’t get to finish the sentence, because the wife interrupted him by saying, “You want a frozen glass, Puppy Face?” She took a huge beer mug out of the freezer, so frozen that she was getting chills just holding it.

The husband, looking a bit pale, said, “Yes, Tootsie Roll, but at the bar they have those hors d’oeuvres that are really delicious… I won’t be long. I’ll be right back. I promise. OK?”

“You want hors d’oeuvres, Poochie Pooh?” She opened the oven and took out 5 dishes of different hors d’oeuvres: chicken wings, pigs in blankets, mushroom caps, and pork strips.

“But my sweet honey… at the bar…. you know there’s swearing, dirty words and all that…”

“You want dirty words, Cutie Pie?… “LISTEN UP D*CKHEAD! SIT DOWN, SHUT THE F*CK UP, DRINK YOUR GOD DAMN BEER IN YOUR F*CKING FROZEN MUG AND EAT YOUR F*CKING HORS D’OEUVRES BECAUSE YOUR MARRIED ASS ISN’T GOING TO A F*CKING BAR! THAT SH*T IS OVER…GOT IT, AS*HOLE?”

…and, they lived happily ever after. Isn’t that a sweet story.

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3 Responses to “For all newly married couples…”

  1. cancer cells…

    [...]For all newly married couples… « Jokes[...]…

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  3. reshma said

    Ek 10 saal ka kid bade dhyan se ek Hindi book pad raha tha, jiska title tha: “Kids ka paalan poshan kaise kare”.

    Mother: Tum yeh book kyon pad rahe ho.

    Funny Kid: Mein yeh dekhna chahta hun ke mera paalan poshan theek tara se ho raha hai ya nahi.
    Next Jock

    A ten years old kid was reading a hindi book with title: “How to bring up kids.”
    Mother: Why are you reading this book with so much concentration.

    Funny Kid: I want to see if my bringing up is being done properly or not.

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